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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29906898">Professor Tweek</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TweekTweakIsMySpiritAnimal/pseuds/TweekTweakIsMySpiritAnimal'>TweekTweakIsMySpiritAnimal</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>South Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>High School, M/M, Mathematics, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:20:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,824</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29906898</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TweekTweakIsMySpiritAnimal/pseuds/TweekTweakIsMySpiritAnimal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenny sees something he shouldn’t have and now Tweek is avoiding him.<br/>Tweek gets a 100% on a math test and now his classmates want him to tutor them.<br/>Craig is good at math but wants some extra help from Tweek anyway.</p><p>Tweek accepts some things about himself and gains a little confidence while navigating school, work, gym class, and his crush.  </p><p>I know I have a math tag, but don't be scared. It's going to be okay - trust me. </p><p>I hope you enjoy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Perfect Score</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my second long fan fiction and I hope you like it! </p><p>There will be twenty chapters that should post weekly every Sunday starting with pie day. The chapters range from around 2,000 to 5,500 words with the first few being the shortest.</p><p>I have written most of it already and really only need to proof read each chapter before posting, which means I should be able to keep to that schedule.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <strong>1:00pm Thursday April 23<sup>rd</sup></strong>
</p><p>Tweek was having an unpleasant day to say the least. He was forced to leave his well-worn coffee thermos at home this morning since he had woken up late and didn’t have time to make a fresh pot. That’s what happens when you hit the snooze button on your alarm three times and have to cut your morning routine down to six minutes. Tweek had been so frazzled he didn’t realize he was wearing the same button down as the day before until lunch when he noticed a pasta sauce stain from the previous day on his sleeve. Luckily no one had noticed it – or maybe no one noticed him?</p><p>Well, that wasn’t totally true. Cartman had noticed him during gym last period when he hit Tweek in the head with a basketball. Tweek had fallen over with a yelp while Cartman laughed. There had only been a few minutes left in the period so at least Mr. Connors, the gym teacher, didn’t call him back when Tweek picked himself up and went to the locker room early. This allowed Tweek to get changed in peace and solitude. He was not in the mood to talk to anyone, which meant he brushed passed a concerned looking Kenny, Token, and Craig as he left the locker room. </p><p>One bright spot was that Tweek didn’t have to work today after school and his last class was Algebra II, which he enjoyed. Tweek was rather good at math for a sophomore. He didn’t call attention to himself in class by answering questions like Kyle, Wendy and sometimes Token – but he normally had the right answer. Tweek also liked that he sat in the back of the room and the afternoon sun would warm his back as he took notes.</p><p>Tweek was the first one in the classroom since he left gym early. He found his seat in the very back corner and set up his notebook. He titled the page with today’s date and then sat quietly as his classmates filtered into the classroom. Wendy, Bebe, Red and Heidi walked in chatting away. They all happen to sit on the same side of the room as Tweek. They were discussing a date Bebe had with Clyde the previous weekend. Clyde’s choice of venue, the local Applebee’s, wasn’t romantic enough for Bebe’s liking. Tweek didn’t understand why Bebe expected anything more of Clyde and Tweek also couldn’t fathom why Clyde didn’t ask Token for advice. Token would never have approved the Applebee’s idea. Half priced appetizers are fun, but they don’t scream romance. </p><p>Bebe gave him a kind wave that Tweek returned. The girls were normally nice to him. He felt that might have been because Tweek sometimes felt like a stray dog, and who doesn’t love a stray dog? He had school friends, but not a lot of outside-school friends. Bebe would welcome him at her table, as would Craig and Token, but he wasn’t normally included in evening or weekend plans. This didn’t really bother Tweek if he was being honest. Sometimes he would get invited to things, but normally he would say he had to work. This allowed his school friends to be polite and not exclude him and gave Tweek a way out since he knew they were just being polite.</p><p>The main exception was, or had been, Kenny. Tweek found Kenny easy to talk to even if Kenny normally acted way over the top as it was Kenny’s personal mission to be unabashedly himself at all times. This meant Tweek would sit with Stan’s gang more often than he sat with Craig’s group or the girls. Kenny would invite or drag him along to some social events, spewing some fortune cookie style sentiment about living in the present.</p><p>As Tweek was a guest at various lunch tables throughout the week he had a pretty good picture of what was going on in everyone’s social lives. That’s how he had heard no less than three different retellings of the Applebee’s date story Bebe was still discussing with Wendy, Red and Heidi.</p><p>Even though he avoided the smaller social gatherings he would attend some of the larger events like parties. This meant Tweek could take up space in the background and not get noticed. Traveling as the fifth wheel with Kenny’s friends was awkward at times since Tweek made up 20% of the group and was therefore expected to contribute. On the other hand, a 15-person gathering was less awkward since he didn’t have to contribute as much being a smaller percentage (6.67%) of the guests. He was an anti-social boy that liked big gatherings more than small ones – strange indeed, but that math worked out. 6.67% is less than 20% after all.</p><p>Tweek’s daze was interrupted when the rest of the students that shared Tweek’s gym and math class came in. Cartman, Kenny, and Butters followed by Craig and Token. Just behind them, but not from gym was Kyle, Stan, Clyde and Jimmy. They were coming from French.</p><p>Kenny sat down next to him in the back row with a concerned look on his face and ask, “Hey, are you alright?”</p><p>“I’m fine.” Tweek said without looking at Kenny.</p><p>Tweek focused on Cartman who was telling Jimmy, “Even if French is the language of love it isn’t going to help you with the ladies. It certainly failed Clyde.”</p><p>Even without Tweek’s attention Kenny continued, “If you weren’t so concentrated on avoiding me maybe you would have noticed that basketball flying at your head.”</p><p>Tweek shrugged his shoulders still looking forward. Those two things were not related. He didn’t notice that basketball flying at his head because he had zero expectation anyone would pass him the ball.</p><p>Kenny continued, “My dearest Tweek, why must you hurt me with your icy response to my acts of friendship? I yearn for the days of our youth when we laughed and cried together.” Kenny’s voice became nothing less than melodic as he continued, “I reach into the furthest reserves of my memory to capture those happy moments. Now I am forced to store them away until your stance thaws just like a squirrel stores nuts for the winter.”</p><p>Tweek couldn’t help himself and smiled, but still didn’t make eye contact with Kenny. Okay so maybe he wasn’t as much of an outcast as he made himself out to be, but he still didn’t know what to say to Kenny. Luckily, he didn’t have to say anything as Mr. Garrison came into the room holding a stack of papers.</p><p>“I have your tests marked, but I am going to wait until the end of the period to give them back. It would be a distraction if I gave them back now.”</p><p>The class let out a collective groan. The test had been difficult and even Kyle had been nervous about getting his grade back. Tweek wondered why Garrison mentioned he had the test scores in the first place since now half the class was going to be distracted wondering how bad the scores were.</p><p>Garrison put the exams down and then turned to the board the start the lesson. Mr. Garrison was not a good math teacher. He normally just read them the book and did the examples problems correctly only 70% of the time. That was enough for Tweek to learn what he needed, but Garrison was a sorry excuse for a teacher.</p><p>As Mr. Garrison tried to figure out how he messed up one of the aforementioned example problems Tweek looked up at the clock. It was 1:33pm and the hour hand and the minute hand were almost making a perfect 180-degree angle with each other. He wondered what the exact time was at which that would happen. Tweek started writing some equations on the side of his notebook page.  </p><p>H = angle of the hour hand relative to the 12</p><p>M = angle of the minute hand relative to the 12</p><p>T = time in minutes after 1pm.</p><p> </p><p>Tweek looked at the clock and noted that since the clock face was split into 12 that each 12<sup>th</sup> was going to be 1/12<sup>th</sup> of the full 360 degrees to go all the way around. 360/12 = 30. Thus, each hour the hour hand moved 30 degrees.</p><p>At 1pm the hour hand started at 30 degrees away from the 12 and would move 30 more degrees over the next hour, or 60 minutes. That’s 30 degrees/60 minutes = ½ degrees per minute.</p><p>H = 30 + 1/2t.</p><p>Onto the minute hand. At 1pm the minute hand started at 0 degrees since it started straight up pointing at the 12. It would move the full 360 degrees over the 60 minutes, or 360/60 = 6 degrees/minute.</p><p>M = 0 + 6t</p><p>Great! Now he wanted M – H = 180 since Tweek wanted the minute hand and hour hand to be perfectly 180 degrees apart.</p><p>M – H = 180</p><p> </p><p>Now he just had to substitute in his formulas for M and H and simplify.</p><p>M – H = 180</p><p>6t – (30 + t/2) = 180</p><p>6t – 30 – t/2 = 180</p><p>6t – t/2 = 210</p><p> </p><p>Six is the same as 12 halves to make the subtraction easier.</p><p>6t – t/2 = 210</p><p>(12/2)t – (1/2)t = 210</p><p>(11/2)t = 210</p><p>11t = 420</p><p>Ugh he could use an edible.</p><p> </p><p>t = 420/11 = 38.182 minutes, which was 38 minutes and 11 seconds.</p><p>Tweek looked up. Yes! Not too late. It was 1:37pm. Tweek stared up at the clock and waited. When the two clock hands made their 180-degree angle at the time he calculated Tweek felt a strange sense of pride and peace.</p><p>Tweek figured he should probably start paying attention again and looked back up at the board.</p><p>Mr. Garrison appeared to have figured out his error and had moved on. Tweek was now a little behind but he put off paying attention a little longer as he glanced around the room. Craig was doodling on his notebook paper. Tweek couldn’t tell what it was, but Craig seemed to be working hard on it and whatever it was took up most of the page based on how Craig’s pencil was traversing the height of page, back and forth, back and forth, as if he was shading something in. His blue chullo hat was perched on his head as usual. A few tufts of black hair were sticking out the back. Craig would probably need a haircut soon.</p><p>Token was taking notes studiously, as were Wendy and Kyle. Cartman and Clyde were both staring at the clock face for probably very different reasons than Tweek had been. Tweek snuck a look to this left to see what Kenny was doing and noticed that he appeared to be making a good effort at notetaking too. Heidi was stealing glances over toward Kyle and Bebe was looking at a fly buzzing around near the door.</p><p>Tweek wondered if they had a better teacher would more of the students pay attention. He went back to his notebook, but his note taking was disrupted a minute later when a small piece of folded paper landed on this desk. The note had come from Kenny, who apparently hadn’t been working as hard as Tweek thought. He opened the note to find two stick figures. Above their heads it said ‘FRIENDS’ and the stick figures were labeled ‘Kenny’ and ‘Tweek’. At the bottom it said, ‘Blonds stick together’.</p><p>Tweek let out a sigh. He was going to have to talk to Kenny at some point. Tweek folded up the note and put it in his pocket. He looked towards Kenny, who had been watching him, and Tweek gave Kenny a look that clearly said, ‘Not now McCormick”</p><p>Kenny winked at him and went back to notetaking.</p><p>The class continued on and when there were 10 minutes left in the period Garrison reached the end of the lesson and asked if anyone had any questions. After 20 seconds of silence, he started passing out the tests.</p><p>“Now you kids need to study more. You aren’t as dumb as these test scores make you out to be. The average was only a 70 and I’m not curving your grades. Only one of you even got an A. On the bright side, you will have to the chance to redeem yourselves in two weeks for the chapter 10 test.”</p><p>A murmur of annoyance went around the room as Garrison continued to hand back the tests. If only one person got an A then it might be Garrison’s bad teaching to blame. Tweek waited patiently hoping he had received a high B.</p><p>Mr. Garrison handed Kyle his exam grade and Cartman said, “I bet it was Kyle that got the best grade, his people are good at math.” Kyle’s face fell and he didn’t even look at Cartman. Cartman, who expected a witty response from Kyle, stood up and looked over before Kyle could hide the test. “An 85%, looks like you are a disappointment. What will you tell your mother?”</p><p>Kyle flushed red and opened his mouth, but before anything came out Mr. Garrison said “Eric! Test scores are private, sit down.” Garrison continued on and handed Token his test.</p><p>Unfazed, Cartman made the same move on Token and shouted, “Token got a 100%! Of course, the rich kid bought that grade. How could Garrison buy a that fancy watch on a teacher salary?”</p><p>Mr. Garrison was not pleased. “That’s enough Eric. That’s detention tomorrow after school and unless you want it to become three detentions you will sit down and not talk back. Also, the watch was a gift from Mr. Sl… A friend of mind.” Cartman sat down and looked like he was using all of his self-control not to respond.</p><p>“Mr. Garrison, this isn’t my test.” Token said quietly.</p><p>“What?” Mr. Garrison said distractedly.</p><p>“This isn’t mine. It says Tweek not Token.”</p><p>Everyone looked around at Tweek</p><p>“Tweek got the only A and it was a perfect score?” Kyle asked bewildered.</p><p>“There goes student privacy. Sorry Tweek, I must have seen the ‘T’ and got districted due to Eric’s outburst.” Mr. Garrison said as he took the test from Token and walked around the room to Tweek.</p><p>“It’s f-fine.” Tweek said as he went red and looked forward not making eye contact with anyone. Wendy was looking at him with a fresh curiosity and he could just feel Cartman’s eyes on him.</p><p>Mr. Garrison went back to handing out the tests and slowly everyone stopped looking at him. Tweek was annoyed. He was considered strange as it was and now people might think he was even more strange. Kyle, Wendy and Token were the smart kids, and they wore that well. Tweek felt he wasn’t one of those people. Everyone would just add it to the list of reasons why Tweek was weird. Also, why couldn’t Garrison hand tests back like a normal teacher? Token and Tweek did share three letters out of five, but still.</p><p>Mr. Garrison finished handing out the tests, yet there were still two minutes left until the bell. “I guess everyone can chat amongst themselves until the bell rings,” Garrison drawled in a board voice.</p><p>Kenny turned to Tweek, “I got a D.” Tweek tried and failed to suppress a smile. Kenny continued, “Are you still freaked out about last weekend Tweek? It’s okay you know.”</p><p>Tweek’s smile vanished off his face like sand from the top half of an hourglass. “We are not discussing that here.” He said coldly and quietly.</p><p>“I would like to discuss it sometime since you are avoiding me like the plague and apparently you are the smart one now which means you know there is no reason for that.”</p><p>Tweek didn’t say anything so Kenny continued, “Do you want to talk after school?”</p><p>At that moment the bell rang and Tweek scurried away with a stern, “No.”</p><p>***</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time on Professor Tweek!</p><p>Chapter 2: Lunch with the Ladies</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2: Lunch with the Ladies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The title is the best summary I can provided, but at the end we do get a little snippet of Craig.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>12:35pm Friday April 24<sup>th</sup></strong>
</p><p>Tweek entered the cafeteria a couple minutes late and scanned the room. Tweek had been behind schedule because he had finished his coffee and had been meticulously rinsing out his thermos in the bathroom.</p><p>Tweek’s eyes fell on Kenny’s table. He had been avoiding Kenny since last Saturday night so that table was out, which was just fine with Tweek at that moment since it looked like Kyle and Cartman were arguing about something or other.</p><p>He turned and saw Craig, Clyde, Token and Jimmy on the left side of the room but sitting with them made Tweek nervous for reasons he didn’t quite want to understand, and he wasn’t in the mood to deal with that today. They did look very cheerful though. Jimmy must have told a good joke because Craig’s face was lit up with mirth and his eyes were bright. He was wearing his standard blue chullo. Maybe Tweek should get a signature hat? Would that make him cooler? Probably not.</p><p>Tweek finished his scan when his eyes landed on the girl’s table. He decided he would turn right and head towards Bebe, Wendy, Heidi, Nicole &amp; Red.</p><p>“C-Can I sit here?” Tweek asked timidly as he approached.</p><p>“Tweek, you don’t have to ask every time you come over.” Bebe said brightly. “You are always welcome.”</p><p>Tweek nodded but would still probably keep asking nevertheless and sat down. He took his lunch out of his backpack. It was turkey and cheese on rye bread with a small bag of sour cream and onion chips. He also had a red apple and a bottle of water. Once settled he started listening to the conversation.</p><p>“I have decided I’m going to give him a second chance.” Bebe announced optimistically.   </p><p>“Just move on Bebe,” Red said. “Clyde is a cute boy, but there is not much going on up there.”</p><p>“Says the girl who failed that math test.” Bebe responded aggressively.</p><p>Before Red could open her mouth to escalate the situation Wendy cut in, “Everybody relax. Bebe has had a thing for Clyde for a long time. I think Bebe should give him a second chance, because if not we are going to be right back here next time they make out at a party.”</p><p>Bebe looked confused, she appeared unsure if Wendy had insulted her or not, but Red hadn’t been mollified. “You only scored four points higher than me.”</p><p>Bebe brushed away her lingering confusion and said, “A 62 isn’t an F, but a 58 is.”</p><p>“You both need to study more.” Heidi said as she speared a cherry tomato from her salad onto her fork.</p><p>“I did study!” Bebe exclaimed while slamming her own fork down for emphases.</p><p>“I’m relieved I’m not in that class with you.” Nicole said matter-of-factly. “It sounds like hell with Garrison.”</p><p>“I didn’t do that well either.” Heidi said. She turned to Wendy and continued, “Maybe we should get a tutor. Wendy, could you help us?”</p><p>“I’m so busy with student council and I didn’t even do that well.” Wendy replied. “You should ask Tweek to tutor you. He got the best grade on the last test after all.”</p><p>“Gah! What?!” Tweek exclaimed as color filled his cheeks.</p><p>“Yeah that would be fun Tweek. You could tutor with us! I’m sure we would do better on the next test if you helped us.” Bebe said.</p><p>“That’s a lot of pressure. What if you guys do worse next time and it’s my fault and you get kicked out and never graduate high school???” Tweek said in a panic. “Then you won’t get good jobs and you’ll have to live on the streets and ask strangers for change.”</p><p>“That’s insane.” Red said.</p><p>“It will be fine Tweek. We couldn’t do worse if we tried. There is no pressure.” Bebe added.</p><p>“W-what about s-someone like Kyle.” Tweek offered hastily as if he was looking for a lifeboat.</p><p>“Kyle may be a little too distracting for Heidi to learn from,” Bebe said with a giggle.</p><p>“Shut up Bebe.” Heidi snapped. Her face had gone as red as Tweek’s apple and she avoided making eye contact with anyone by staring down into her salad.</p><p>“That means we need you Tweek!” Bebe said excitedly.</p><p>“Uhh maybe. I work a lot though and I don’t always know the answers.” Tweek said still looking for a way out.</p><p>“I’m not taking no for an answer Tweek. What are your hours this weekend?”</p><p>“Umm I work on S-Saturday from 8am to 2pm. You could come by the coffee s-shop after at like 2:15pm I s-suppose.”</p><p>Wendy, noticing Tweek still looked like a deer in the headlights, added, “I am free on Saturday. I can come too and help out to make sure we don’t get stuck on anything.”</p><p>“That’s good.” Tweek said a little relieved.</p><p>“Excellent.” Bebe said happily. “I’ll get you a gift or something as a thank you.”</p><p>“What kind of gift?” Tweek asked.</p><p>“She is clearly offering you a sexual favor Tweek.” Red added mischievously.</p><p>“Gah What. Oh Jesus!” Tweek exclaimed.</p><p>“I don’t just give out sexual favors as gifts Red.” Bebe scoffed.</p><p>“What about that time your showed Kevin Stoley your boobs when we went on that field trip to the amusement park in exchange for the front seat on the roller coaster?” Red said with a smile.</p><p>“That’s not what happened!” Bebe said angerly as Heidi, Wendy and Nicole laughed.</p><p>“You should give Tweek the show too. You ever seen a pair of tits Tweek?” Red asked turning to Tweek.</p><p>Tweek spluttered nearly choking on the last bite of his sandwich.</p><p>“Don’t embarrass him Red.” Wendy said exasperated.</p><p>“I don’t need anything in return for the homework help.” Tweek said hoping that this would put an end to the mortifying conversation. It didn’t work.</p><p>“You don’t want to see Bebe’s boobs?” Red asked as if she was personally insulted.</p><p>“Ummm,” was all Tweek could say.</p><p>“Her boobs are fantastic.” Red continued.</p><p>Bebe put her foot down. “I’m not showing my boobs, which are indeed fantastic. End of discussion.”</p><p>Wendy added, “To confirm we are meeting up at 2:15pm tomorrow right?”</p><p>“Yes” Tweek said. At the very least his parents would be happy with some potential customers.</p><p>Bebe went back to talking about Clyde and Tweek finished his bag of chips. Apparently, Clyde wanted to take Bebe ice skating and to a nice French restaurant next week. Tweek would bet a week’s worth of wages from the coffee shop that Token was the driving force behind the idea.</p><p>When the bell rang Tweek stood up to leave and Bebe said, “We will see you tomorrow Tweek! Get excited.”</p><p>“For boobs.” Red added.</p><p>“Shut up Red!” Bebe yelled.</p><p>Tweek nodded nervously as he picked up his backpack to go.</p><p>On his way out of the cafeteria Craig called out to him, “Hey dude, wait up.” Tweek’s heart rate rose, but he paused and then fell into step with Craig and his group when they reached him. “Jimmy and I are going to biology too; we might as well walk there together.”</p><p>Tweek nodded in response and started walking next to Craig, who had about three inches on Tweek. Tweek was 5’ 9”, which put Craig at almost six feet tall. Tweek was holding out hope that he had another inch or two left in him before he stopped growing. Despite Craig’s new adult-sized frame he still had the slight awkwardness of a person that wasn’t quite used to his own body yet.</p><p>As they got into the hallway Clyde was talking about how he wished he could time travel forward a week since Token was having a party next Friday night and he was hoping for a second date with Bebe on the Saturday directly after the party.</p><p>“What a waste of a time machine.” Craig said.</p><p>“You don't even know if Bebe is going to accept, yet right?” Token asked.</p><p>“She will, she has too,” Clyde said in a worried voice.</p><p>Clyde fell silent, which gave Craig the opportunity to ask Tweek, “Hey, you are coming to Token’s party next Friday right?”</p><p>“Gah, uhh m-maybe?” Tweek said a little startled.</p><p>Craig’s face became unreadable, as it often did. Tweek often wondered what was happening behind those eyes.</p><p>Token cut in and said, “You should really come Tweek.”</p><p>Clyde went from pensive to ecstatic within a millisecond. “Yea and bring your brownies! Or your cupcakes. Oh wait, and some cookies.”</p><p>“F-f-fat ass,” Jimmy said with a laugh.</p><p>“Tweek isn’t your personal chef Clyde,” Craig said annoyed.</p><p>“I don’t want him there just for his delicious baked goods!” Clyde claimed. “Tweek, you rarely say yes to hanging out with us. You are only 16 once and should come party.” Clyde’s eyes went into puppy dog mode and continued, “Do you not like us? Is that why you don’t hang out with us more often?”</p><p>“Oh Jesus, it’s not like th-th-that.” Tweek stuttered completely flustered. “I have w-work a lot.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” Clyde pushed. “Is it because Jimmy’s jokes are bad? Or Craig’s unwelcoming face?”</p><p>“Unwelcoming face?” Craig asked angerly.</p><p>“You flip people off for no reason and you have this, ‘stay away from me’ look. It’s like resting bitch-face, but with a Craig Tucker spin to it.”</p><p>Jimmy looked like he wanted to defend the honor of his jokes and Craig was clearly not done with Clyde either, but Token jumped in and addressed Tweek. “Please say you are coming to the party to end this stupid argument.”</p><p>“I will come. I c-could bake something and bring it I suppose.” Tweek said. Baking wasn’t a bad way to ensure he had friends he thought – and it looked like people did really want to hang out with him.</p><p>Clyde looked satisfied, but Craig and Jimmy still looked affronted.</p><p>Clyde’s look of satisfaction slipped as another idea hit him. “What if they were edibles Tweek?”</p><p>This comment appeared to be all Jimmy needed to let Clyde slight on his jokes slide as he said, “Oh y-y-yes that’s a great idea.”  </p><p>“Oh Jesus. I don’t know about that.”</p><p>Luckily, Clyde and Token had to part ways with them to head to history before this conversation could continue. Before they left, Token turned to Tweek. “No pressure if you don’t want to bake anything. drug-free or not.”</p><p>Tweek nodded and then continued with Craig and Jimmy to biology.</p><p>“Tweek, I w-w-want to a-a-assure you my jokes are still top-notch.” Jimmy declared proudly.</p><p>“Of course.” Tweek said nodding.</p><p>“Tweek, how do you get a fish stoned?”</p><p>“Is this a new version of the fish sticks joke?” Tweek asked confused.</p><p>Jimmy laughed. “N-no it is not.”</p><p>“Cook it in a pot?” Craig offered.</p><p>“No, you give it s-seaweed.” Jimmy said with a grin.</p><p>Tweek laughed and Craig rolled his eyes.</p><p>“That is a good one.” Tweek said. “Clyde shouldn't have insulted your jokes!”</p><p>Jimmy smiled. “Thank you Tweek.”</p><p>When they reached Biology Tweek took his seat, which was directly behind Craig because the seats had been assigned alphabetically.</p><p>Once he was situated Tweek noticed Craig’s hair was sticking out of his hat again. Tweek could smell the faint scent of coconut, which Tweek loved. Tweek figured Craig must have coconut shampoo or body wash. Was it weird that Tweek thought about Craig’s shampoo? Craig would do that in the shower. Craig wouldn’t wear clothes in the shower.</p><p>Tweek shook his head to clear his thoughts as Mrs. Holland started the lesson. Today they were starting their chapter on cells and he needed to pay attention.</p><p>***</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time on Professor Tweek!</p><p>Chapter 3: Table for Six</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Table for Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tweek leads a study session at the Coffee Shop.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>2:00pm Saturday April 25<sup>th</sup></strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Tweek’s shift was over and he was in a good mood. He hadn’t messed up any orders all day. The only drink that had been sent back was one where the customer had asked for the wrong thing, which the customer freely admitted instead of claiming Tweek had misheard him, which is what would normally happen. He had even made a good amount of money in tips.</p><p>Tweek took off his apron and headed to a six-person table near the back of the shop to make sure it had enough chairs. He figured it would be the four girls from his math class and him. He thought Nicole might come even though she wasn’t in the same math class just to hang out, which brought the total to six.</p><p>Once the chairs were properly arranged, he wiped off the table to make sure it was clean and opened his textbook and notebook. He had already finished the homework due Monday and figured he would help anyone that got stuck.</p><p>The homework was on Section 10.5, which was mostly law of cosines problems and Tweek knew he at least got all of the odd homework problems right since those answers were in the back of the book. Tweek had already started skimming the next section when he heard the bell of the shop door ring and heard Bebe call his name. </p><p>Tweek glanced up and saw Bebe, Red, Heidi, Wendy and Stan moving toward him. Stan and Wendy were holding hands and all of them looked a little damp as it was raining lightly outside.</p><p>A flash of anxiety rushed through Tweek’s body. He hadn’t expected Stan, or anyone else that wasn’t at the girl’s lunch table on Friday. Had anyone else been invited? There were now six people and he would need to pull up a chair if anyone else showed up. Tweek didn’t have any animosity towards Stan, but Tweek would be lying if he said he ever felt at ease with Stan around because normally Cartman wasn’t too far behind.</p><p>When the group reached Tweek he looked to Wendy and asked, “Are we expecting anyone else?”</p><p>“Nope, this is it.” Wendy responded. “I hope you don’t mind I brought Stan. We were hanging out this morning and figured he could get some homework done too.”</p><p>“That’s fine.” Tweek said relieved. No Cartman, and no Kenny for that matter. “Does anyone want anything? Coffee? Scones?”</p><p>“Oh, that sounds good,” Bebe said eyeing the counter.</p><p>“We should save that for a reward at the halfway point.” Wendy suggested.</p><p>There was a general murmur of ascent to that idea and everyone sat down. Tweek, Bebe and Red down the left side of the table with Wendy, Stan &amp; Heidi down the right.</p><p>“So, where do we start?” Stan asked looking at Tweek.</p><p>“I thought we would just start with the first homework problem and go from there.” Tweek said nervously. Everyone was looking at him as if he was in charge or knew something they didn’t.</p><p>“Can you do a quick review of the lesson first?” Bebe asked. “I wasn’t paying attention during the middle of class.”</p><p>“Why weren’t you paying attention?” Wendy asked in a tone that suggested she was annoyed with Bebe’s lack of focus in her studies.</p><p>“I was thinking about what it would be like to be a fly.” Bebe responded cheerly.</p><p>“WTF Bebe. W-T-F.” Red said amused.</p><p>Bebe just smiled and Wendy looked like she was trying to stop herself from saying something mean. Heidi tried to put them back on track and turned to Tweek. “I would like a quick review first too if that’s alright.”</p><p>“Hold up. Did you come to any conclusions Bebe?” Stan said incredulously.</p><p>“Well, most flies live for about a month.” Bebe started but was interrupted.</p><p>“Don’t they live only a day or something?” Stan asked.</p><p>“That’s just mayflies.”</p><p>“Oh.” Stan said impressed by this fact.</p><p>Wendy looked like she was floored by her own choice of best friend and boyfriend as Bebe continued. “It would be cool to fly around, but it’s still a short life. Also flies can get eaten or squished by other creatures pretty easily. So, I would not want to be a fly.”</p><p>“Fascinating.” Red said in a tone dripping with sarcasm.</p><p>“Let’s let Tweek have the floor.” Wendy interjected.</p><p>Tweek regretted all of his life choices at that moment. Having them all do the homework at the same time was one thing but having Tweek run through concepts while they all watched him was another.</p><p>However, Tweek decided he was afraid of saying ‘no’ more than he was afraid of explaining a brief overview of the lesson.  He sighed, “That’s fine, let me get a piece of paper.”</p><p>He pulled a spare piece of paper out of his bag and drew a triangle and then wrote out the law of cosines: c<sup>2</sup> = a<sup>2</sup> + b<sup>2</sup> – 2abcos(C).</p><p>“This formula is the law of cosines. The lower-case letters are the side lengths of the triangle and the capital C is the angle.” Tweek added the lowercase a, b and c to his diagram. “The capital C is the angle across from the side c.” He added this to the diagram.</p><p>“You really only need to do four things:</p>
<ol>
<li>Remember the formula</li>
<li>Label the diagram correctly</li>
<li>Plug in the numbers</li>
<li>Solve for whatever is missing.”</li>
</ol><p>“For example, this triangle has side lengths of 5ft and 5.2ft. Then the angle opposite the unknown side length is 20 degrees. This means a = 5, b = 5.2, C = 20 degrees and c is unknown.”</p><p>“Now we plug in the numbers and solve.” Tweek then started writing out the work. Red and Heidi leaned over since they were the furthest away.</p><p>c<sup>2</sup> = a<sup>2</sup> + b<sup>2</sup> – 2abcos(C).</p><p>c<sup>2</sup> = 5<sup>2</sup> + 5.2<sup>2</sup> – 2(5)(5.2)cos(20).</p><p>c<sup>2</sup> = 3.16</p><p>c = 1.78 ft.</p><p>“That means c = 1.78 ft.”</p><p>Tweek looked up and everyone was staring at him. “Did I do something wrong?” He asked as he looked down the check his work. He had used the same example from class, which meant he was sure it was right.</p><p>“I don’t think I have every heard you speak so fluently for so long.” Wendy said a little surprised.</p><p>Tweek tensed and continued staring down at the paper. He had no idea what to say to that. He knew he didn’t speak well normally and didn’t need Wendy pointing that out by being shocked he could string a few sentences together.</p><p>“That was really good man. I think I understand it now.” Stan said.</p><p>“I agree. I think we can try the homework.” Bebe said cheerily. At that everyone opened their books and started reading the first question.</p><p>Tweek untensed a little as the eyes left him and went to the books. Tweek felt maybe he had jumped to judgement. Wendy had complemented him. They aren’t out to get me he told himself. They aren’t out to get me.</p><p>Everyone worked quietly for a few minutes. The first few problems where basically the same as the example with different numbers. The first real question came when Red got to problem four and was unsure how to handle a situation that gave her three side lengths instead of two side lengths and one angle like the example.</p><p>They continued on like this for the better part of an hour. They were making such good progress that they ended up not taking a break in the middle for drinks and waited until they were done.</p><p>Tweek put his books back in his bag and took everyone’s coffee order. He stood up and made his way behind the counter.</p><p>“Tweek, why are you back here dear?” his mom asked.</p><p>“I’m making drinks for the study group.”</p><p>“You aren’t on the clock right now. I’ll make them.”</p><p>Tweek decided not to fight it. He waited at the counter drumming his fingers on the smooth surface as his mom made two hot chocolates, two lattes, a Frappuccino, and a black coffee for Tweek. He glanced around the shop while he waited.</p><p>His classmates were cheerly chatting where he had left them. He noticed Craig’s mom and Clyde’s dad near the front of the shop conversing as well. He wondered what that was about. His eyes rested for too long on Laura Tucker as she made eye contact with him and gave him a small wave. Tweek gave a small jump and waved back and looked away.</p><p>Craig’s mom had always been very nice to him. She would offer him rides home from school, and she would always make a point to ask how Tweek was when she saw him at school functions that involved parents like football games. Tweek didn't know why she was nice to him and wondered sometimes what the reason could be. Maybe she thought he was unstable and wanted to try and keep him calm.</p><p>He wondered if Craig and Clyde knew their parents were here. Maybe they would stop by? Tweek had sat with Craig’s gang on Tuesday and he couldn't remember if they mentioned weekend plans. The lunch period had been monopolized by Clyde talking about the failed date. That made Tweek nervous. Would they be mad they weren’t invited to the study group? Would they disinvite Tweek to the party next week?</p><p>Tweek’s train of thoughts derailed when his mother placed the finished drinks down on the counter all on a single tray. Tweek picked up the tray and headed back to the table.</p><p>“You are my hero Tweek.” Bebe said as he handed her a hot chocolate.</p><p>Tweek smiled and replied, “Anytime.”</p><p>“Yeah, this is great.” Stan said as he sipped the other hot chocolate.</p><p>“Don’t change the subject mister.” Wendy said sternly.</p><p>It took Tweek a little while to figure out what subject Stan was changing since Tweek had missed the initial phase of the conversation while he was getting the drinks. Tweek gathered Bebe had officially agreed to go on the ice skating and dinner date with Clyde and Wendy had asked Stan why they don’t do fun romantic dates anymore. Apparently, Stan playing Call of Duty with Kyle as Wendy read on the couch next to them wasn’t viewed as quality time in Wendy’s eyes.</p><p>“Sounds like the spark is gone.” Red mused as she swirled the remaining drops of her latte in her cup.</p><p>“No one asked you,” Stan retorted angerly. He turned to Wendy, “I’ll think up something for us to do next weekend and it will be romantic. Alright?”</p><p>“That’s all I wanted.” Wendy said tiredly.</p><p>Red downed the rest her latte and sounded annoyed when she said, “Well now that we have fixed that, shall we head out?”</p><p>Stan looked like he wanted to say something, but kept his mouth shut.</p><p>“I still need to finish my drink.” Heidi stated as she took another sip.</p><p>The group decided to stay a little longer and conversation drifted back to school. “I just wish I understood how I screwed up that Chapter 9 test so badly,” Bebe said.</p><p>“Maybe we could go over the test tomorrow at your place Bebe.” Wendy suggested thoughtfully.</p><p>“You would need the answers to do that,” Stan said looking directly at Tweek.</p><p>Tweek groaned on the inside. He had liked this whole experience more than he thought he would, but he did feel a little drained. He wasn’t going to argue though and agreed to meet them at Bebe’s house tomorrow at 3pm.</p><p>“Can I bring some of the guys?” Stan asked.</p><p>Heidi had been fiddling with her phone but then looked up across the table at Stan.</p><p>“No Cartman.” Wendy demanded.</p><p>“Fine by me.” Stan responded.</p><p>Tweek didn’t want the group to get bigger but figured if there was no Cartman he could manage he supposed. It would mean being in closer quarters with Kenny in a social setting for the first time since the incident.</p><p>Tweek laughed to himself inside his own head. The incident, it made it sound like he killed someone.</p><p>“Well now that’s planned I have to head to the mall to look for new shoes.” Bebe said.</p><p>They said their goodbyes, and everyone got up and left. Tweek cleaned off the table and sat down again to recharge and mentally prepare for a larger group the next day. He was going to have to talk to Kenny, which probably meant he was going to have to confront something he was avoiding. Tweek decided he needed another coffee.</p><p>***</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I promise there is only one more chapter without Craig, and it's Chapter 11.</p><p>Next time on Professor Tweek!</p><p>Chapter 4: The Incident</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Incident</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tweek holds another study session, Craig asks Tweek a tough question, and Kenny &amp; Tweek finally talk about the incident.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>2:40pm Sunday April 26<sup>th</sup></strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tweek looked at the clock and calculated he would need to leave in five minutes if he wanted to get to Bebe’s house on time. He got up from his desk chair and started looking through his backpack to ensure he had everything he needed. He had his textbook, notebook, the chapter nine test, and some pencils. He was good to go.</p>
<p>Tweek left his room and headed down the stairs. He said goodbye to his father who was in the kitchen and scurried out the front door. Once outside he enjoyed the gentle April sun on his face. Spring was here and the new plant life always calmed him.</p>
<p>Last night Tweek had done a lot of thinking. He decided he was going to have a talk with Kenny after the study session. Kenny had always been a good friend to him, probably his closest friend, and Tweek’s anxiety about talking to him was now less than the growing guilt he felt for ignoring Kenny for more than a week.</p>
<p>Tweek was only a few minutes away from Bebe’s house when he heard someone behind him.</p>
<p>“Tweek, wait up!” Clyde shouted out of breath. Tweek stopped walking and turned around to face the approaching Clyde. Tweek immediately noticed Clyde looked good today. He was wearing his football letterman jacket, had a fresh haircut and was wearing pants without any stains or wrinkles.</p>
<p>“Hey Clyde. W-what’s up?” Tweek asked once Clyde was level with him.</p>
<p>“I’m going to the study session. You are like in charge of it right?”</p>
<p>“Gah in c-charge?? Me! Oh Jesus.” Tweek felt a little lightheaded and the state of Clyde’s outfit now made total sense. Clyde wanted to look nice for Bebe.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I heard you helped Bebe and a few others with the homework and were really good at it. Bebe said I could come along today.”</p>
<p>Tweek’s mind was now racing. How many other people were coming to this? What if it was like the whole class? First the girls, then Stan, then Stan’s friends and now Clyde. When will it end?</p>
<p>Clyde seemed to register Tweek was worried about something and asked, “It’s okay that we are coming right?”</p>
<p>“We?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, well Craig and Token. Jimmy was busy at a family thing.”</p>
<p>Tweek didn’t know what to say to this and just stared blankly at Clyde for a second. His mind was racing. He didn’t even know why. He knew he had all the right answers, so why did it matter who was there? But wait, what if Garrison marked his test wrong. What if Tweek got all the answers wrong and everyone found out he was a fraud? Tweek pulled himself out of his thoughts and said, “W-We better get going. We don’t want to be late.”</p>
<p>“Totally,” Clyde said with a smile. Clyde seemed more at ease that Tweek appeared calmer. They walked side by side the rest of the way. Clyde did most of the talking, which Tweek appreciated. It was mostly about how Clyde's dad wasn’t home during lunch time yesterday and Clyde made himself an amazing grilled cheese. Tweek didn’t think that was an amazing feat worthy of a four-minute story, but oh well.</p>
<p>As they walked up the path to Bebe’s house Tweek checked his phone and noticed they were only a few minutes late. The door was open and Bebe and Wendy were chatting in the foyer. Clyde sped up a little and entered the house before Tweek.</p>
<p>“Hey Bebe, you look nice today!” Clyde said cheerily.</p>
<p>Wendy and Bebe giggled while Tweek rolled his eyes as he crossed the threshold.</p>
<p>“Thanks Clyde.” Bebe said before turning to Tweek, “A few people are already downstairs. Wendy and I will wait here for the stragglers.</p>
<p>Tweek nodded and he headed for the basement door. Clyde followed him looking a little dejected as if he had expected Bebe to return his complement.</p>
<p>As Tweek descended the basement steps he heard some light chatter. He could make out Kenny’s voice. As Tweek’s head cleared the ceiling, he saw Kenny sitting with Stan and Kyle on the floor. He also saw Red &amp; Heidi on the couch. A sizable whiteboard leaning up against the wall opposite the couch caught his eye.</p>
<p>“Hey Tweek,” Kenny said brightly.</p>
<p>Tweek responded with a polite, “Hello” and sat down next to the whiteboard, which is where he assumed, he was supposed to go.</p>
<p>“Hey guys, what’s up?” Clyde asked as he settled in next to Tweek.</p>
<p>“Just getting ready to learn some math from Tweek.” Heidi said. “He’s really good at explaining things.” Tweek couldn’t help but smile at that. Maybe he was good at this. Maybe he enjoyed it?</p>
<p>“I can help too Tweek.” Kyle added hastily.</p>
<p>Tweek was spared having to respond to Kyle’s awkward interjection by another four people coming down the stairs. Wendy, Bebe, Token and Craig.</p>
<p>“We are all here,” Bebe announced happily. “Let’s get started.”</p>
<p>Everyone looked over to Tweek, but Wendy stepped in to help. “We are going to walk through each problem from the test and Tweek well help where needed since he has all the right answers. So how about we start with number 1?” Wendy turned to Tweek and gestured to the markers next to the whiteboard.</p>
<p>“Whose whiteboard is this?” Tweek asked picking up one of the markers.</p>
<p>“Mine.” Wendy replied. “I thought it would help.”</p>
<p>“Awesome. Thank you.”</p>
<p>They began working through the problems. Tweek was more than happy to let Kyle and Wendy come up to the board to go through problems when they volunteered. Wendy seemed eager and Kyle was acting like he had something to prove. Token was content to sit next to Craig and smile encouragingly at whomever was at the whiteboard. Tweek ended up running through about half the problems, but the flow between them was good.</p>
<p>Tweek learned to prompt the group for questions multiple times throughout the solution explanation while narrating his steps as he went. This seemed to work better than completing the whole problem and asking for question at the end. This was probably Kyle’s one flaw. It was clear he knew what he was doing, but he didn’t seem to pick up how to impart his knowledge on others.</p>
<p>Tweek’s confidence grew as the clock reached 4:30pm and there were only a few more problems to go through. He was actually smiling as he talked through why tangent was positive in the third quadrant.</p>
<p>His only hiccup was when Craig asked him about inverse tangent. “Why does the graph of inverse tangent only have a range of -90 degrees to 90 degrees? Why can’t I have a 100-degree angle as the output?”</p>
<p>Tweek went red. He didn’t know the answer.</p>
<p>“Oh, umm I not sure.” Tweek said quietly as his mind started processing the issue.</p>
<p>“You must have the wrong graph,” Kyle added. “Triangles can have 100-degree angles, hence you must be able to have inverse tangent spit out 100 degrees.”</p>
<p>“Well,” Tweek said slowly. Everyone turned their attention back to Tweek. “Sine, cosine, and tangent are normally used for right triangles. That means one angle of the triangle must be 90 degrees. This means the other two angles have to sum to 90-degrees, right?”</p>
<p>Tweek turned to Token to back him up.  </p>
<p>“Yes. A triangle’s angles must sum to 180 degrees. If you have a right triangle then one of the angles is 90 degrees. Meaning the other two must sum to 90 degrees.”</p>
<p>“Which means no angle can be over 90 degrees in a right triangle.” Tweek said. “Thus, the tangent function can only take in values less than 90, which is why inverse tangent is limited from -90 degrees to 90 degrees.”</p>
<p>Tweek finished his statement looking directly at Craig. Craig held his gaze and said, “That makes perfect sense. You are really good at this stuff.”</p>
<p>Tweek blushed and Bebe, Wendy, and Kenny all looked at Craig with mild surprise at the warmth in his voice.</p>
<p>Stan, Red and Clyde looked completely lost, but didn’t ask any further questions. Tweek sat down and Wendy took up the mantle to finish out the last problem.</p>
<p>Once they were done going through the test everyone thanked Tweek, Kyle and Wendy for helping them. Everyone started to file out in sets of two or three. Heidi and Red got up to go and Kyle got up to walk home with them. Stan and Wendy grasped hands and headed out in the direction of sparks pond.</p>
<p>Tweek always thought it was romantic that Stan and Wendy had a special spot. He had voiced this opinion to Kenny once and Kenny actually snorted some soda out his nose. Kenny had cleaned himself up and informed Tweek that Stan’s motives weren’t exactly romantic. Apparently, both of their parents are strict about keeping bedroom door’s open so the secluded parts of the pond are the only areas where Stan can feel up Wendy in peace.</p>
<p>Tweek shook the thought of Stan feeling Wendy’s boobs away as Craig and Token came up to him. “That was really great Tweek,” Craig said. “I think you should keep this up. It would really help my math grade.”</p>
<p>“It’s fun too.” Token added before turning to Craig. “I thought your math grade was already really good?”</p>
<p>Craig shrugged.</p>
<p>“M-maybe we c-could do more sessions,” Tweek suggested unsure of exactly how to respond.</p>
<p>“Well at any rate, tell me if you are doing anything like this again. I’d want to come.” Craig said softly.</p>
<p>“Of course!” Tweek replied. He could smell the light fragrance of coconut.</p>
<p>Once Craig and Token departed it was clear that Clyde was trying to hang around until everyone else was gone to spend time with Bebe so Tweek turned to Kenny and asked if he wanted to walk home with him.</p>
<p>“That sounds great Tweek.” Kenny said.</p>
<p>Tweek double checked he had all his things, waved goodbye to a distracted Bebe and headed out the door with Kenny on his heels.</p>
<p>Once safely out of ear shot Tweek asked, “Should we have left Bebe alone with Clyde? They seemed fine right?”</p>
<p>“They are fine. Wendy would have stuck around if Bebe didn’t invite Clyde to the study session solely to make sure they were the last two left.”</p>
<p>Tweek didn't respond as he thought about if Bebe had indeed invited Clyde just to spent some more time with him. He thought it was kind of cute if it was true.</p>
<p>“You did a really awesome job Tweek.” Kenny said with a grin. “It was awesome to see you so confident. I particularly like where you showed up Kyle on the inverse whatever.”</p>
<p>“Tangent”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that thing.”</p>
<p>“Well apparently I’m not good enough for you to remember the inverse functions.”</p>
<p>Kenny laughed. “I learned loads either way. I’m also really happy we are talking again. Has Spring thawed the icy sheet of snow that had covered our friendship?</p>
<p>Tweek slowed his pace a little. “Yea, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay Tweek. I won’t tell anyone what I saw, and you don’t even have to tell me if it means anything.”</p>
<p>“Means anything?” Tweek asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah. Like I won’t assumed anything about you or your preferences. Maybe you were just exploring and took a wrong turn. Maybe you wanted to be there. It’s all fine either way.”</p>
<p>“Thanks Kenny.” Tweek said sadly.</p>
<p>“Don’t sound so sad Tweek. I’m sure it’s not uncommon to find gay porn on your friend’s laptop.” Kenny said with a laugh.</p>
<p>Tweek’s eyes darted around to make sure no one was on the block they were walking down. “Keep it down Kenny.” Tweek whispered seriously.</p>
<p>“Sorry, sorry.” Kenny said apologetically. “I will keep it to myself and remember I’m here to talk if you want to. I'm not a bad person to talk through this with since, as you know, I’m outstandingly bisexual.”</p>
<p>Tweek nodded to illustrate he understood.</p>
<p>“Do you want to talk now?” Kenny asked kindly.</p>
<p>“Gah. N-not yet. I think I need a few more days. I didn’t expect to have to confront this piece of me this week.”</p>
<p>“That’s fine. Take the time you need.”</p>
<p>Tweek nodded.</p>
<p>“I bet you will never forget to clear your internet history ever again.”</p>
<p>“That’s so true.” Tweek said with a laugh.</p>
<p>“I can also send you some links to my favorite videos if you want. Gay, straight, whatever. We could be the kind of friends that share porn.”</p>
<p>“Oh god.” Tweek said weakly but appreciated Kenny had lightened the mood.</p>
<p>They reached Tweek’s house and Kenny gave Tweek a hug. Kenny was one of the few people that Tweek let touch him at all. Kenny gave good hugs.</p>
<p>Tweek told Kenny goodbye and disappeared into his house.</p>
<p>Kenny turned around and started heading the rest of the way home.</p>
<p>***</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time on Professor Tweek!</p>
<p>Chapter 5: Stuffed Shells and Hockey Pucks</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Stuffed Shells & Hockey Pucks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tweek realizes something</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>11:00am Monday April 27<sup>th</sup></strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tweek was feeling confident today. He had led two study sessions, no longer felt weird around Kenny and had just finished drinking every last drop out of his coffee thermos, which was now safely stored in his locker.</p>
<p>Tweek had the first lunch period at school today. The downside to early lunch was that he wasn’t always hungry yet, which was the case today. He had a ham and cheese sandwich, a plum and a bag of sour gummy worms in his bag. Tweek figured he would eat some of it, and maybe sneakily eat the rest during Algebra II.</p>
<p>When Tweek entered the cafeteria, he headed directly for Stan’s gang to sit with Kenny. When he sat down Kyle and Cartman were arguing about something while Stan was poking his school lunch with a fork suspiciously. Kenny, on the other hand, was eagerly digging into the school lunch of stuffed shells and side of very watery corn.</p>
<p>“Are these things edible?” Stan asked Kenny.</p>
<p>“They are hot, and I get them for free.” Kenny replied with a smile full of pasta. “That’s all I need to know.”</p>
<p>Stan seemed unconvinced and let a, “hmmm,” as he continued poking at his mildly deformed stuffed shell with a frown on his face.</p>
<p>Kenny swallowed this mouthful of pasta and turned to Tweek, “How’s the day treating you Tweek?”</p>
<p>Tweek had just lifted his sandwich to his mouth but put it down to answer. “Uh, good so far. I just hope nothing sadistic is planned for us in gym class.”</p>
<p>“We did floor hockey this morning,” Stan said. “I hate having gym first thing in the morning. I’m always half asleep. I wish I was in your class.”</p>
<p>“We wish you were there too buddy.” Kenny replied. “I’d trade Cartman for you any day.”</p>
<p>Cartman, who up until this point had been completely engrossed in his argument with Kyle, turned his attention to Kenny. “What was that Kenny?”</p>
<p>Kenny responded with a wink. “I was just saying how lovely you look today.”</p>
<p>“Don’t wink at me Kenny! Save your flirting for someone else.” Apparently, this wasn’t enough of a retort, so Cartman continued, “And how come you have been getting the school lunches lately? Has your mom been working the streets again?”</p>
<p>Kenny’s happy demeanor vanished instantly and was replaced with a combative one. “Shut the fuck up Cartman. My mom finally filled out the reduced school lunches form, so I get them for free now.”</p>
<p>“What!” Cartman exclaimed. “My tax dollars are feeding you. That’s my lunch!” Cartman then tried to pull the tray away from Kenny who quickly snatched it out of reach.</p>
<p>“Back off fat ass. This is my lunch.” Kenny growled.</p>
<p>“You don’t even pay taxes Cartman,” Kyle said. “Teenagers need to be well fed to learn and grow. Free or reduced lunches is a genuinely good program that doesn’t even cost a lot of money.”</p>
<p>“But it’s my money.” Cartman whined. “I demand you give me a portion of your lunch Kenny.”</p>
<p>Kenny, Kyle and Cartman continued on in a circular firing squad of insults for the next five minutes. This was fine by Tweek. He got to slowly eat his sandwich while listening to the banter. Stan avoided being pulled into the confrontation and resigned himself to eating the stuffed shells.</p>
<p>Tweek glanced around the lunchroom. The girl’s table had the normal crowd. He saw Heidi looking over towards his table. He caught her eye, and she gave him a small head nod, which Tweek returned awkwardly. Tweek then turned his head towards Craig’s gang. Nothing of note was going on. Craig and Token were facing away from him while Jimmy and Clyde faced toward his side of the room. Tweek continued looking around and saw Scott and Butters chatting away. They appeared to be trading snacks.  </p>
<p>Tweek ended up finishing half of his sandwich and did indeed wrap up the second half for later. He put it back in his bag and started working on his plum when the reduced school lunches conversation finally ended with Cartman saying, “you are all a bunch of communists.”</p>
<p>“How about we talk about Token’s party. It’s on Friday!” Stan added quickly, before any other fights could break out.</p>
<p>“What is there to say?” Kyle asked.</p>
<p>“Well Red and I have the booze lined up.” Stan said.</p>
<p>“I have the weed ready.” Kenny added. “And I heard Tweek is going to bake something scrumptious.”</p>
<p>Tweek twitched slightly.</p>
<p>“It is useful to keep you around Tweek, for the baked goods.” Cartman said in that tone of voice that meant he was planning something. “You should team up with Kenny. We could sell edibles to the masses and make a profit off this party.”</p>
<p>Tweek twitched violently. “I d-don’t know about that.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to agree with Cartman…” Kenny started.</p>
<p>“Hey.” Cartman shouted.</p>
<p>“…but I agree.” Kenny continued. “I could come over Thursday night when you are baking.”</p>
<p>“But then I’ll go to jail for being a drug dealer! That’s illegal!!” Tweek said with alarm.</p>
<p>“Weed is legal Tweek.” Cartman pointed out. “And you shouldn’t get in the way of my business empire.”</p>
<p>“Your business empire?” Kyle asked. “Kenny has the weed and Tweek is the one baking. Where exactly do you get off calling it your business empire?”</p>
<p>“Interested in where Cartman gets off Kyle?” Kenny asked with a devilish smile.</p>
<p>“Gross Kenny.” Cartman said before Kyle could react. “And it’s my business empire because I will move the product, and no one asked you anyway Kyle.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure it will go just as well as when you were illegally moving KFC.” Kyle spat back.</p>
<p>“It’s not my fault the colonel is nuts.” Cartman shouted.</p>
<p>They went back and forth on this for a while. Kenny took the cover to whisper to Tweek, “No pressure either way, just think about it.”</p>
<p>Tweek was on the fence. Weed had a calming effect on him, and even though it was a mind-altering drug the fact that it was legal in Colorado prevented him from immediately saying no. He definitely wouldn’t sell it though.</p>
<p>“Maybe,” Tweek said. “I’ll think about it.”</p>
<p>At that point the conversation turned to some new video game Cartman’s mom bought him because he cried and screamed in the store. This topic required nothing from Tweek, and he was able to eat his plum and a few sour worms in relative peace.</p>
<p>A few minutes later the lunch period ended and Cartman, Kenny and Tweek headed towards gym class while Stan and Kyle left for French.</p>
<p>Tweek entered the locker room and made his way to the back row of lockers. The room was made up of seven rows of lockers and four students shared a row. That meant only three people would ever be near him at once when he changed, and as he was in the last row no one would ever need to pass by.</p>
<p>The locker had been assigned alphabetically, which meant the last four lockers were Kevin Stoley, Butters Stotch, Craig Tucker and Tweek Tweak.</p>
<p>Tweek was there before any of his locker mates and quickly unlocked his locker and changed into his gym shorts and then relaxed a little. Tweek was a little self-conscious and liked changing alone but had gotten used to changing his shirt he if just faced away. His back couldn’t be that embarrassing right?</p>
<p>At that moment Craig walked over and started putting in his locker combination. “Hey Tweek.”</p>
<p>“Ah, hi Craig.” Tweek said nervously.</p>
<p>“Do you know what we are doing today?” Craig asked nonchalantly as he pulled off his shirt. Craig’s eyes were then fixed on his gym shirt, which had somehow been pulled inside out through one of the sleeves.</p>
<p>Tweek couldn’t help but sneak a look at his chest while Craig was distracted. They were still young, at 16, but Craig was starting to look like a man. He had the very early signs of a happy trail from his belly button downwards and his stomach had lost its baby fat.</p>
<p>Craig managed to fix his shirt and started sliding it over his head. This forced Tweek back to reality. “Gah, I think Stan said they did floor hockey this morning.”</p>
<p>Craig’s head reappeared and he was smiling. “I love floor hockey,” he said. He then pulled his hat off and shoved it into the locker.</p>
<p>“Hey fellas!” Butters said as he and Kevin Stoley entered the row.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Craig and Tweek said in unison.</p>
<p>“I heard we are doing floor hockey today.” Kevin said. “Better than basketball.”</p>
<p>Tweek put his hand on his head where he had been hit last week and said, “I agree with that.” Unfortunately, Tweek had been looking at Kevin when he responded and missed the opportunity to sneak a look at Craig change out of his pants and into gym shorts. At the realization of this Tweek went a little red and decided he better finish changing and pulled off his shirt wondering why he was such a pervert.</p>
<p>Five minutes later they were out in the gym and had been split into teams of four. Tweek ended up with Token, Butters and Kenny. It wasn’t a bad team. Token took charge and assigned Butters to goal, Tweek to defense and Kenny and himself to offense.</p>
<p>“I figure Kenny and I will be the most aggressive, hence we should be up front.” Token announced. “Tweek, you are good at running and therefore you need to charge anyone coming towards goal, so they have to take an early shot. That will make it easier for Butters to defend and for Kenny or me to run back if needed.”</p>
<p>Tweek nodded and Kenny said, “Aye Aye Captain Black.” Token rolled his eyes, but grinned.</p>
<p>“Do we have a team name?” Butter’s asked excitedly.</p>
<p>“Three blonds and a black guy?” Kenny offered.</p>
<p>“No.” Token said sharply, but he was still smiling.</p>
<p>Kenny didn’t back down though. “If it’s good enough for the name of a porno it should be good enough for us.”</p>
<p>Tweek couldn’t help himself and burst out laughing.</p>
<p>“How about the Dragons?” Butters asked innocently.</p>
<p>Kenny smiled at Butters. “Spicy.”</p>
<p>“Well as we are out of time, Dragons it is!” Token said. “We better go do the faceoff Kenny. Tweek, hang out in the middle and move up if we take the puck.”</p>
<p>Tweek liked Token’s clear instructions and hoped he wouldn’t let his team down.</p>
<p>The first game actually went rather well. Kenny and Token were able to control the puck most of the time and when the other team did get possession Tweek would run up and try to block them. This normally resulted in a bad shot on goal or an even worse pass to a teammate. This gave Token or Kenny enough time to run back to help.</p>
<p>Tweek was out maneuvered a few times, but Butters was holding his own in goal. Kenny scored twice and Token scored once. Butters only let in one goal which meant after 15 minutes they won 3-1.</p>
<p>“Go Dragons!” Kenny shouted.</p>
<p>“Go Dragons!” Butters echoed.</p>
<p>A few students stared at them. Apparently, no one else had bothered to create a team name.</p>
<p>At that point there was a shuffle, and the Dragons got another opponent. Token brought his team back together. “Okay gang, we now have to go up against Craig, Cartman, Bradley and David. They have Cartman in goal.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, because he fills so much of it,” Kenny said with a laugh.</p>
<p>“He will be harder to score on and I’m sure he’ll play dirty.” Token continued.</p>
<p>Tweek chimed in, “I saw him trip Kevin in his last game.”</p>
<p>“Checking out the other team?” Kenny said with a wink.</p>
<p>Tweek’s cheeks went a little pink. The real reason Tweek had been looking over was because he saw Craig running back to help defend the goal when Kevin was approaching. Kevin was moving quickly and with Craig running towards him Kevin slowed just a little bit and Cartman stuck his foot out to trip him. Kevin had fallen to the floor and started arguing with Cartman.</p>
<p>“We ready?” Token asked.</p>
<p>“Go Dragons,” Butters shouted as a response.</p>
<p>Kenny, Token, Bradley and David gathered around the middle of the court while Craig and Tweek took positions in the middle of their respective sides. Craig flashed him a smile and Tweek couldn’t help but smile back.</p>
<p>David won the initial battle for the puck and immediately raced towards the Dragon’s goal. Tweek ran to meet him and attempted to slap the puck away with his stick. He missed the puck but made contact with David’s stick causing the puck to veer left and miss the goal completely. Kenny ran back to retrieve the puck and headed back towards midcourt. He passed to Token and then Token started approaching Cartman in goal.</p>
<p>Tweek breathed in a little and made his way back to the middle of his side. Craig ran towards Token and attempted to block him but missed. Token made a shot on goal, which Cartman blocked.</p>
<p>“Better luck next time. Too bad your mommy can’t buy you a goal.” Cartman shouted with glee. Craig caught up to Token and they exchanged looks which clearly read, ‘he is such an asshole.’</p>
<p>The game continued and neither side scored. Kenny was starting to get frustrated and taking really aggressive shots at Cartman. Cartman was not backing down and appeared to be going for people’s legs instead of the puck. One such altercation ended with Kenny on the ground holding his ankle swearing.</p>
<p>Mr. Connors came over and asked if he was alright, Kenny said he was fine and walked slowly over to Tweek. “I need you to take offense. I need to stop running around as much to give my ankle a break. Butters will come play defense and I’ll get in goal.”</p>
<p>Tweek wasn’t sure how he felt about this, but it was happening nonetheless. Tweek and Token did an okay job at keeping the puck off their home side of the court. Butters was making wild defensive shots but seemed to be having a lot of fun.</p>
<p>Tweek was beginning to sweat and really wanted to beat Cartman. Bradley got the puck and he started heading towards Butters. David ran to the other side of the court, behind Butters, and was intending to receive a pass from Bradley. However, Bradley’s pass wasn’t great, and Butters was able to deflect it to Token who immediately had Craig on him. Token passed to Tweek and now Tweek was only ten feet from Cartman in goal and no one else from the other team was near him.</p>
<p>Tweek took the puck forward and was about to make his shot when Cartman lunged out of the goal and jammed his stick into Tweek’s stick and this unsettled Tweek enough to send him backwards onto the floor.</p>
<p>Tweek hit the ground with his back first followed by his head. Craig and Token were closest and ran towards him. Token called for the teacher and Craig knelt by Tweek’s side and was asking him something.</p>
<p>Tweek just laid there for a minute and took in Craig’s face. His normally passive face was filled with worry and their noses couldn’t have been more than six inches apart. In that head-splitting moment Tweek knew.</p>
<p>Kenny joined Craig by Tweek’s side and Tweek could hear Cartman saying it was just part of the game. Tweek sat up holding his head and Craig and Kenny moved back a bit to give him room.</p>
<p>The whole gym was looking around now and Tweek felt flushed. He must look very stupid here on the floor.</p>
<p>“Are you alright? Do you need to go to the nurse?” Mr. Connors asked him.</p>
<p>“I think I’m fine. Can I just get some water and sit out?” Tweek said. The teacher nodded and told the others to get back to playing.</p>
<p>“Are you sure you are alright Tweek?” Kenny asked. Craig was beside him, also waiting for an answer.</p>
<p>“Yes. I’m just going to get some water and sit down.”</p>
<p>Kenny nodded and Craig just said, “Cartman is a fucking asshole.”</p>
<p>“Indeed,” was all Tweek could say as he turned and headed towards the locker room.</p>
<p>Tweek entered the locker room and once he was out of sight of any other living soul he ran to the sink and started drinking right from the tap. He splashed water into his face and then looked up at the mirror.</p>
<p>He looked into his own eyes for a second and then shuddered to break eye contact with his reflection. He had looked in the mirror this morning, a mere six hours earlier, but now he was different. He knew, or rather he accepted something he already knew.</p>
<p>He was not straight, and he had a crush on Craig, normally stone-faced, Tucker. He, Tweek Tweak, was gay. He didn’t fully understand what the consequences of that was, but he could figure the rest out later. He sighed as he let this fact roll over him.</p>
<p>He looked at himself in the mirror again and said, “I am gay.”</p>
<p>He looked away again and remembered being a young kid and wanting to get married to a nice girl, have a few kids and never make those kids work in a coffee shop. He knew he was weird with his ticks, his stutter and his outbursts – and he had felt that was all the different he could handle.</p>
<p>He wondered if his life would be harder now that he acknowledged he was gay. Would people accept him, would people try to change him? Would people shun him when they found out?</p>
<p>He thought about his grandmother whose birthday was today. Would she think of him differently if she knew? Older people had a harder time with this stuff, right?</p>
<p>He stared in the mirror at a boy who was completely different than the one he had seen in his bathroom mirror six hours earlier. His mind was racing.</p>
<p>At the very least he had inadvertently let Kenny in on the secret a little more than a week ago. How could he be so dumb? Well, Tweek knew how. He had watched the video, finished his business and then immediately rolled over and went to sleep. Since he never cleared the history, it was waiting right there for Kenny to stumble across.</p>
<p>He sighed again. He was worried, he was scared, but most importantly, he was alive and had a crush on a cute boy who loves space and wears a blue chullo hat.</p>
<p>***</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time on Professor Tweek!</p>
<p>Chapter 6: Every Professor Needs a Classroom</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Every Professor Needs a Classroom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mkay</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>11:45am Tuesday April 28<sup>th</sup></strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Tweek yawned and rubbed his tired and lined eyes. He reached for his thermos and grimaced when he lifted it and realized it must be empty based on its weight. “I need more coffee.”</p><p>“If you keep rubbing your eyes like that you might accidentally give yourself a black eye,” Kenny whispered from behind his architecture textbook.</p><p>“I’m surprised I don't already have one the way gym has gone the past few days.” Tweek said with another yawn.</p><p>“Hopefully you can keep yourself from getting injured tomorrow. Maybe we should get you a bodyguard.”</p><p>Tweek snorted with laugher, earning him a reproachful look from the librarian. Kenny and Tweek and study hall from 11:00am to 12:30pm in the library every other day. Afterwards they would head to lunch and following that they would part ways. Kenny would head to Architecture and Tweek to Biology.</p><p>Actually, that wasn’t always true. Tweek would spend the last 30 minutes of study hall with Mr. Mackey every two weeks and today was one of those days.</p><p>“If I can get a good night sleep tonight and not get injured tomorrow in gym, I will call this week a win.” Tweek said in a hushed tone, worried about being reprimanded by the librarian.</p><p>“I always get a good night’s sleep since I sleep like I’m dead.” Kenny said as he turned a page of his textbook. “Why haven’t you been sleeping well?”</p><p>Tweek paused for a second. That was a complicated question. He felt like yesterday was years ago. Yesterday morning he wouldn’t have admitted to himself who he was, but today was a whole new world. His mind had been heavy last night as he thought through coming out to his friends and family and whether or not he wanted to tell his family at all.</p><p>He had decided he would fully come out to Kenny first. As Kenny was outstandingly bisexual it was generally understood he would swing in any direction the wind took him. For starters, he would kiss anyone during spin the bottle at parties. Tweek recalled a very amusing evening where Kenny’s bottle spin landed on Clyde and just before they kissed Clyde said, “no homo,” to which Kenny replied, “definitely homo.” It had been quite the site.</p><p>On top of that Kenny was his closest friend and he felt safest talking to Kenny. He could trust Kenny to keep it secret for however long it took Tweek to tell whomever he told second.</p><p>Kenny might also be a good person to talk about the very intrusive thoughts he had started having since gym ended the day before. He started noticing guys around him more. Token’s height, Clyde’s broad shoulders, Kenny’s lean torso, and Craig’s…well Craig’s everything. It’s like Tweek’s brain had stopped him from looking at boys before because it would have caused him to confront his sexuality, but now the flood gates had opened and Tweek had the empty tissue box to prove it.</p><p>Tweek had been silent for a good 60 seconds lost in thought, which drove Kenny to ask, “Spent too much time jacking off I assume. Did you clear the internet history this time?”</p><p>Tweek spluttered, “oh Jesus.” This outburst earned him yet another stern look from the librarian.</p><p>“It’s okay Tweek. All guys do it. No need to be embarrassed. However, if you are up late trying to get off, I will send you some high-quality content that will get you off quickly. Then you will have more time to sleep.”</p><p>“K-keep your voice down Kenny.”</p><p>“Oh Tweek.” Kenny teased.</p><p>“I j-just have a lot on my mind.” Tweek said in a huff.</p><p>“Speaking of which, shouldn’t you be leaving for Mackey like now?” Kenny asked.</p><p>Tweek looked up at the clock and nodded. He picked up his half-completed Spanish homework that was due tomorrow and shoved it into his bag. He gave Kenny a wave before walking towards the library exit.  </p><p>“I’ll send you those links.” Kenny said to Tweek’s retreating back.</p><p>Tweek pulled a leaf out of Craig’s playbook and flipped off Kenny over his shoulder.</p><p>Tweek turned left out of the library, took a right at the end of the hall and then went down the stairway to the first floor. As he exited the stairway, he took another right. He was passing the science rooms when he caught a glimpse of Wendy and Stan in the Biology classroom, the same one he would find himself in later that day. Wendy was looking up at the board while Stan was writing something – he was probably taking notes or doodling.</p><p>Tweek finally got to Mr. Mackey’s office and knocked.  The office door opened, and Mr. Mackey welcomed Tweek into the room.</p><p>Mr. Mackey’s sessions followed a very predictable path. Mr. Mackey would ask how his anxiety was going and Tweek would talk about something that was worrying him and then Tweek would fill the remaining time with random things about his classes.</p><p>Today started out no different. Tweek said his anxiety was up and talked about what had happened in Algebra II last week.</p><p>“Everyone had stared at me and Kyle was so surprised when everyone realized I got 100%. Is it so shocking that I could be good at something?”</p><p>“How did it make you feel to be singled out?” Mr. Mackey asked.</p><p>“I didn’t like everyone looking at me and thinking I’m weird. It’s none of their business.”</p><p>“Have you considered the possibility they were impressed and didn’t think it was weird at all?”</p><p>Tweek just stared back as if that was the stupidest thing he had ever heard.</p><p>“Did anyone confront you about it later?”</p><p>“A few people asked me to help them with Algebra II. I was at two study sessions over the weekend to go over homework and the last test. I took the lead on a lot of problems, but let Wendy and Kyle help too.”</p><p>“See Tweek!” Mr. Mackey said excitedly.</p><p>“See what?” Tweek asked warily.</p><p>“Your classmates didn’t think you were weird. They wanted your help. Mkay.”</p><p>Tweek thought about that for a moment. He would consider it but wasn’t convinced.</p><p>“Tell me what you’re thinking Tweek.” Mr. Mackey requested kindly.</p><p>“Well like I said Kyle was surprised I did really well on the test and when I was tutoring on Saturday Wendy was surprised that I spoke so well. No one thinks I can do anything right.”</p><p>“I think you are being too hard on yourself. I don’t think you should interpret Kyle’s or Wendy’s surprise as a slight against you. In Wendy’s case, it sounds like she was trying to say something nice and it just came out a little awkward.”</p><p>Tweek considered this, but again fell silent.</p><p>“Words Tweek.”</p><p>“I guess that’s possible.” Tweek said quietly.</p><p>“Did you feel confident when you were tutoring?” Mr. Mackey asked.</p><p>“Yes,” Tweek said brightly.</p><p>“Is it something you are going to keep doing?”</p><p>“I don’t know. We can’t always use the coffee shop. It’s busier on weekdays. I suppose someone could host it at their house.”</p><p>“You should ask a teacher if you can use their classroom afterschool.”</p><p>“I’ll think about it.”</p><p>“I think this is a really good thing Tweek. I would keep tutoring if I was you. It appears to help your confidence.”</p><p>Tweek nodded and then switched gears to discuss his troubles in gym class for the rest of the session. Mr. Mackey said he would speak with Mr. Connors to see if he could keep a closer eye on Eric or prevent them for having to spend a lot of time together.</p><p>“Well thank you for your time Tweek. I’ll see you in two weeks Mkay.”</p><p>“Alright.” Tweek said as he stood up.</p><p>Tweek grabbed his bag and slipped out the door.</p><p>Tweek was halfway to lunch when Clyde appeared next to him.</p><p>“Hey Tweek. I was looking for you! You should sit with us at lunch today.”</p><p>Tweek had assumed he would sit with Kenny and Stan’s gang again today, but he figured Clyde would be difficult if he said no, thus he responded, “Sounds good.”</p><p>It became clear why Clyde wanted him at lunch because Clyde continued, “That’s great! I wanted to see if we could plan another study session with everyone.”</p><p>Bebe, Tweek thought. Clyde wanted more opportunities to hang out with Bebe. Bebe already agreed to a second date, did Clyde really have to orchestrate another study session?</p><p>Tweek responded with an, “Okay,” as they entered the cafeteria. Clyde led the way and they ended up being the first two people at the lunch table and took seats across from each other. Tweek reached into his bag to retrieve his sandwich and then Token and Jimmy sat down on either side of Clyde.</p><p>“Hey T-Tweek,” Jimmy said cheerily. “What b-b-brings you to our neck of the w-woods today?”</p><p>Tweek opened his mouth to respond, but Clyde cut in, “Tweek is going to teach us Algebra II because Garrison is garbage.”</p><p>Tweek tensed when he heard a nasally voice say, “Since when do you care about your math grade?” Tweek stared down at his sandwich as Craig sat down next to him with a lunch tray.</p><p>“Math is very important Craig!” Clyde said. “It makes planes fly and stuff.”</p><p>“Uh huh,” Craig responded. “So, it has nothing to do with the fact that you don’t want Bebe to think you’re too stupid to date her?”</p><p>Token and Jimmy started laughing while Clyde went red.</p><p>Craig turned his attention to Tweek and asked, “How’s it going Tweek?”</p><p>Tweek looked over to him and said, “Good”. He quickly adverted his eyes. The last time he saw Craig it was in a fantasy that was the main reason Tweek’s tissue box was now empty.</p><p>Clyde gathered himself and looked at Tweek. “When can we schedule another study session?”</p><p>“Uh, I’m busy on Thursday, so I guess tomorrow or Friday.”</p><p>“Wednesday it is then! Where should we meet?” Clyde asked. “Coffee shop?”</p><p>“I d-don’t know if we can go d-directly after school on weekdays. That’s a really busy time and my parents wouldn’t want me using a lot of tables unless everyone bought something.”</p><p>Undeterred, Clyde turned to Token and asked, “your house has a lot of space! Let’s use your place.”</p><p>“Can’t. I’m already pushing my luck with the party on Friday.” Token said.</p><p>“Tokennnnn. You are useless. What’s the point of having a friend with a big house if we can’t use it?” Clyde asked annoyed.</p><p>“Is that all I am to you? The rich friend?” Token responded in a mock hurt tone.</p><p>“You are also b-black.” Jimmy pointed out. “You c-check two boxes.”</p><p>Clyde and Craig started roaring with laughter and Tweek let out a grin.</p><p>“You guys are unbelievable.” Token said trying to keep a serious face.</p><p>“You know we love you for you buddy.” Clyde added with a smile.</p><p>Tweek loved how much Craig’s gang cared for one another even if they gave each other a hard time. He wanted to be a part of that.</p><p>“I think I could ask Mr. Robinson if we could use his room afterschool.” Tweek said.</p><p>“The Spanish Teacher?” Craig asked.</p><p>“Yeah. He is really nice, and I think he might say yes.”</p><p>“When are you going to ask him?” Clyde asked eagerly.</p><p>“I have Spanish f-f-first thing tomorrow, but I guess we will want to know before the day of though. I can stop by his room at the end of the day.” Tweek said slowly. This scared him a little. He didn’t like asking for things.</p><p>“I’ll come with you. Spanish with him was my first-class freshman year.” Craig said. “He likes me.”</p><p>Tweek’s stomach did a backflip. </p><p>“This is excellent!” Clyde said. “I’ll let everyone in on the plan when you confirm we can use the room.”</p><p>With that settled conversation drifted to party plans for Friday. Token told them Stan and Red were bringing the drinks and Kenny was working on weed. Tweek knew these details from his lunch table hopping but Token did give him one piece of new news. The girls wanted to play seven minutes in heaven.</p><p>The bell rang and they all got up and headed to class. Craig, Jimmy and Tweek ended up in biology. It was uneventful. Tweek liked biology, but class dragged on. When the bell rang at last to signal the end of the day Tweek had barely gathered his belongings before Craig showed up at his desk ready for the trip upstairs to see Mr. Robinson.</p><p>“Ready to go?” Craig asked. Tweek nodded and then Craig led the way into the bustling hallway. Tweek couldn’t stop himself from looking at the back of Craig’s tight jeans when he was following Craig up the stairs. Tweek almost bumped into Craig when they had to stop for a second to let an onslaught of students trying to get down the stairs and out of the building to dissipate.</p><p>They eventually reached the second floor and made their way over to Mr. Robinson’s room. Luckily, he was still there. Craig held up to let Tweek go in first. He took a deep breath and walked into the room.</p><p>“Hola Tweek ¿Como estas esta tarde?” Mr. Robinson asked cheerly.</p><p>Estoy bien. ¿Y tú?</p><p>Muy bien. Y Craig! Qué alegría verte.</p><p>Craig, who apparently had forgotten most of the Spanish he learned based on the confused look on this face nodded and just responded, “Hola.”</p><p>“I wanted to ask if I could use your classroom after school tomorrow to tutor some classmates in math?” Tweek asked in one quick breath.</p><p>“Of course, Tweek!”</p><p>Tweek blinked. He hadn’t thought it would be that easy, or that at least Mr. Robinson would ask more questions.</p><p>“Great. Thank you.”</p><p>“Of course. Anything for two of my favorite students. A good teacher needs a classroom, and you can borrow mine for 45 minutes.”</p><p>Tweek nodded to Mr. Robinson and that was it. Tweek and Craig left the classroom and Craig started leading them back towards the middle of building instead of to the front doors.</p><p>“Where are we going?” Tweek asked.</p><p>“Oh sorry. I’m going to the library to do some homework before going home.” Craig said.</p><p>“Why? Wouldn’t you rather get home? We have been in this building all day.” Tweek asked confused. He personally couldn’t wait to leave; it had been a long and emotionally exhausting day.</p><p>“Ummm. I just get more work done here.” Craig said. His tone became unreadable. Maybe Craig wanted Tweek to leave so he could work in peace.</p><p>“Okay, well I’m going to walk home. I’ll see you tomorrow and thank you for coming with me.”</p><p>“Of course,” Craig replied. There was an awkward silence and then Tweek nodded before turning around to head home.</p><p>***</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time on Professor Tweek!</p><p>Chapter 7: Class is in Session</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Class is in Session</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tweek teaches his first lesson in a real classroom and has a lovely chat with Kenny on the way home.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>10:55am Wednesday April 29<sup>th</sup></strong>
</p><p> </p><p>It was Tweek’s early lunch day today and he was in a good mood. He was nervous for the Algebra II lesson he would be running in Mr. Robinson’s room in a little over three hours, but he was in a good mood nonetheless.</p><p>Tweek had started his day by waking up on schedule which meant he had time to enjoy a cup of coffee in the kitchen before filling his thermos and heading out to school. Spanish and English, his first two classes of the day, went well. Mr. Robinson seemed excited Tweek was using his room to help other students and Tweek hadn’t been called on to read out loud in English, which he hated doing. Wendy and Nicole had done most of the reading for Lord of the Flies today.</p><p>As they left English Wendy asked Tweek if he would sit with them today and he agreed. Tweek had been considering sitting with Craig and his gang again, but he didn’t want to be confrontational by saying no to Wendy. As they walked to lunch, they discussed the book.</p><p>“I feel like if we were all stuck on an island together, we would be screwed.” Nicole said.</p><p>Tweek chimed in by saying, “I totally agree.”</p><p>“I don’t know. I think we could form a little government and set of rules.” Wendy added thoughtfully. “We could find a nice conch shell, agree on what’s important, and build from there.”</p><p>They entered the cafeteria and a moment later they all turned their heads to see a commotion across the room. Apparently Cartman had tried to take some food off of Kenny’s tray and was shouting, “My taxes paid for that food.”</p><p>“If Cartman is on this island we are all dead.” Tweek said in disgust.</p><p>Wendy and Nicole laughed, and then headed over to their table to find Heidi, Bebe and Red already there.</p><p>Bebe greeted Tweek the moment she saw him. “Hey Tweek, thanks for coming to sit with us today.”</p><p>Tweek’s face showed some confusion as they sat down. He assumed Wendy asked him to lunch to be polite since they exited English right next to each other. However, this made Tweek feel like there was some ulterior motive. “Of c-course.” He said nervously.</p><p>“You sit with Stan’s gang, sometimes right?” Bebe asked. She looked like a lawyer that already knew the answer he was going to give. He glanced around before responding. Heidi seemed flush and Red was wearing a mischievous smile. </p><p>Not gaining a whole lot of additional insight from their facial expressions Tweek responded, “Yes,” slowly.</p><p>“Well we,” Bebe glanced at Heidi, “were wondering if Kyle has mentioned anyone, he was interested in.”</p><p>Tweek put two and two together and couldn’t stop himself from looking at Heidi, whose face went a shade redder and looked down to avoid Tweek’s eyes. Tweek wouldn’t give them any names even if Kyle had professed his love for someone while Tweek was within earshot. Tweek figured that hypothetical information would be private.</p><p>Tweek turned back to Bebe, but avoid meeting her eyes directly as he said, “I don’t think I would share that information even if I had it. I wouldn’t want to betray anyone’s trust.”</p><p>Bebe’s face only registered her disappointment for a second before she changed strategies. “You don’t have to give us any names of course! But we just want to know if he is looking for someone.”</p><p>Red cut in, “We aren’t nine anymore. Heidi over here clearly has a thing for Kyle, and we want to know if he likes her, or anyone else. If he likes someone else, we can drop this.”</p><p>Heidi’s face went to level 10 on the redness scale and Bebe turned to Red, “I was trying to be more delicate.”</p><p>Wendy rolled her eyes as Bebe and Red started bickering.</p><p>Tweek looked at Heidi who was still looking away. “Hey Heidi.” She looked up at him and the rest of the table quieted down. “I don’t think he has a crush on anyone specific right now. I can’t remember him mentioning anyone since that homeschooled girl a few years ago.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Heidi said as the color in her face started to return to normal.</p><p>Tweek took this opportunity to start on his sandwich.</p><p>“Excellent.” Bebe said cheerfully. “Well then we might as well get to the point for question two. I know you sometimes sit with Clyde’s group. Do you know if Craig likes anyone?”</p><p>Tweek started choking on his sandwich. Wendy quickly patted him on the back and Tweek got the food down. Tweek grabbed his water bottle and slowly sipped some. Once he recovered Tweek asked, “Who is interested in C-Craig?”</p><p>No one’s face gave it away this time so Tweek decided to start answering his own question instead of Bebe’s. “Well Wendy is dating Stan, Bebe is going on dates with Clyde, and Heidi likes Kyle. That leaves Red or Nicole.”</p><p>“Not me,” Nicole said with a giggle.</p><p>Tweek looked at Red.</p><p>“This is why you are everyone’s new favorite math teacher I suppose.” Red said annoyed as a way to confirm it was her that was interested in Craig.</p><p>Unbidden images of Craig changing in gym class entered his brain as he said, “I don’t know. I haven’t heard him mention anyone either.” Tweek’s brain went into overdrive as he remembered Craig probably wasn’t gay and even if he was why would he like the wreck of a boy that was Tweek Tweak? Tweek sighed wondering how he accepted he was gay not even 48 hours ago and now he was pining for Craig Tucker and his smooth torso.</p><p>“Well not the best news, but at least you have no known competition ladies,” Bebe said. Both Heidi and Red glared at her.</p><p>“Well maybe one of you will get lucky if we play seven minutes in heaven on Friday at Token’s party.” Nicole offered hopefully.</p><p>“Between Marsh and I there should be enough to drink for everyone to make that interesting.” Red added.</p><p>“I wonder if we could rig it.” Bebe wondered. Tweek’s brain crashed into a brick wall. Rig it? Now he pictured Craig and Red alone together and there was hand holding and kissing. Too much kissing.</p><p>“Don’t we normally spin a bottle to select pairs?” Nicole asked. “How could you rig that?”</p><p>“Well…” Bebe said. She was clearly thinking hard as her brow was furrowed. “We could pull names out of a hat instead of spinning a bottle. Then we could put small rips or folds on some of the slips. We could say it’s the best way to ensure every name gets matched or something. No one would be left out”</p><p>“And to think you got a D on the last math test.” Wendy said in shock.</p><p>Red and Bebe laughed at this, but Nicole appeared to have misgivings as she said, “We are going to masquerade as good-natured people that want to foster a sense of inclusion when in reality, we want to make sure we are paired up with the boy of our choosing?” It was clear from her tone she wasn’t on board with this.</p><p>“I agree with Nicole, this seems too underhanded.” Wendy added.</p><p>“I love the idea.” Red said. “Craig never hooks up with anyone at parties, so if we can get him to play seven minutes in heaven, I’m in.”</p><p>This brought Tweek out of his stupor. It was true that Craig hadn’t really shown interest in anyone in particular and he couldn't remember Craig getting with anyone at past parties.</p><p>Clyde had made out with Heidi once on a dare and he had his on again, off again (currently on again) status with Bebe. Token and Wendy had been together for a good chuck of freshman year before she went back to Stan. Jimmy had even made out with Red last fall after a football game and claimed he felt up some girl named Vanessa from North Park over winter break. He still loved talking about both events, even if Tweek was only sure one the one involving Red was real. Craig, however, didn’t have any of those kinds of stories.</p><p>Maybe Craig subscribed to the philosophy not to kiss and tell, which would fit his personality. Alternatively, they were only sophomores after all. It wouldn’t be odd for him to just have not had his first kiss yet.</p><p>Tweek wasn’t sure if he could draw any conclusions from any of his thoughts, but he was brought back to the conversation happening around him when he heard his own name.</p><p>“Tweek, you aren’t going to mention the fact that we may or may not rig any party games, right?” Bebe was looking right at him and batting her eyebrows. This apparently worked on boys she wanted something from – straight boys Tweek assumed.</p><p>“No, of course not!” Tweek squeaked. “I don’t know anything.”</p><p>“Tweek won’t rat on us.” Red said in a tone of voice that suggested it was more of an order directed at Tweek instead of a reassurance to the group that he could be trusted.</p><p>“We could even match you with someone!” Bebe said excitedly. “Do you have anyone in mind?”</p><p>Tweek’s brain filled with a foggy image of Craig brushing a hand over Tweek’s cheek in the back of a dark closet.</p><p>“You would look so cute with Annie.” Bebe mused.</p><p>“What about Esther?” Wendy suggested.</p><p>“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Tweek said going a little red.</p><p>Bebe disagreed. “Oh, come on Tweek. This is the perfect opportunity to get you introduced to a nice girl.”</p><p>Heidi noticed Tweek’s face, which showed Tweek was clearly was looking for an exit to this conversation, and said, “He said he is good. Let’s drop it.”</p><p>Tweek relaxed as Nicole added, “I think you should drop the whole idea.”</p><p>Tweek started thinking about how he would have to start telling people he was gay to avoid being matched up with girls. But there really weren’t boys for him to be matched with either. Kenny was the only guy that was openly bisexual, and no one had come out as gay. Even Kenny hadn’t hooked up with a boy from South Park. He had only experimented with someone from North Park.  </p><p>Either way there would be slim pickings. Tweek wondered what his chances of even kissing a boy before he left for college were. Maybe he would just save himself for a cute drama major freshman year of college.</p><p>Tweek must have missed some of the conversation while his mind wandered since when he started paying attention to his surroundings again it appeared Wendy and Nicole’s doubts had been mostly addressed.</p><p>Bebe decided to change the topic be saying, “In the meantime, I’m excited for your class today Tweek. You are the best for helping.”</p><p>The others nodded.</p><p>Tweek smiled but didn’t say anything as his mouth was filled with the sandwich he had been neglecting for the first half of the lunch period.</p><p>The conversation turned away from boys and the party. Tweek didn’t hear much of it as he was lost in thought. What if Bebe did find a way to rig seven minutes in heaven and then Craig and Red got together in the back of a coat closet and then got married and had very grumpy children together. They didn’t really have the sunniest personalities at the school. Tweek was halfway through wondering what Craig and Red would name their first child when the bell rang.</p><p>They all got up and Tweek scurried to gym.</p><p>Gym was uneventful for the first time in a while, which Tweek welcomed. He changed and stole only a few glances at Craig. Tweek was such a pervert and would burn in hell but being in hell would keep his coffee warm he supposed. On further reflection if he went to hell, he probably wouldn’t have access to coffee.</p><p>They played more floor hockey, and the Dragons did well. Mr. Mackey must have talked to Mr. Connors because the Dragon’s and Cartman’s team didn’t play each other. The only negative side effect of this was that Tweek didn’t get to play Craig.</p><p>When the class period ended and everyone was changed Craig, Tweek and Token walked together to Algebra II. “I’m excited for the lesson today Tweek,” Craig said.</p><p>“Since when do you get excited about anything that isn’t Stripe or Red Racer?” Token inquired.</p><p>Craig flipped off Token and then responded, “Because I’m going to be an astronaut when I grow up, or at least some smart NASA scientist. That means I need to be good at math and Tweek here is going to make that happen.”</p><p>Tweek was going to ruin Craig’s dream. Tweek was going to fail to help Craig in math and then Craig was not going to help NASA go to Mars. “Gah, that’s too much pressure.”</p><p>“It will be fine.” Token said with a smile. Astronaut Tucker over here doesn't even need that much help. He got an 82% on the last test.</p><p>“That’s private information,” Craig said annoyed.</p><p>“It didn’t sound private when you said, and I quote, ‘Who’s the smart one now bitch, get on your knees and suck my 82%’ after I told you I only got an 80% when we were playing video games at my house the next day.</p><p>Tweek burst out laughing and Craig went red. Clyde also started laughing and Tweek jumped about a foot in the air. “Oh shit where did you come from?”</p><p>“French,” Clyde said smiling at Tweek. He looked a little apologetic for scaring him, but then Clyde turned to Token and asked, “What was it like sucking on Craig’s B minus dick?”</p><p>Token grimaced, Craig punched Clyde in the arm, Clyde pretended to cry, and Tweek tried and failed to get the visual Clyde presented out of his mind. He only managed to replace Token with himself.</p><p>They finally arrived in Garrison’s room and took their seats. The lesson was worse than usual. Garrison got lost in two of the three example problems from the textbook and kept calling the law of sines ‘not the law of cosines, but the other one’. How could he not remember? Cosine includes the flipping word sine. With three minutes left in the period Garrison’s cell phone rang and he picked up and just left the room while pointing at the left-most chalk board which always detailed the homework assignment due next lesson.</p><p>Bebe turned around in her seat to face Tweek. “You are going to have to reteach the whole lesson to me. Did you understand any of that?”</p><p>Cartman laughed, “Twitchy Tweek teach you? That’s hysterical.”</p><p>“Tweek is a really good tutor.” Wendy said. “He helped me over the weekend.”</p><p>“Yeah, and he is going to help us afterschool in Mr. Robinson’s room.” Bebe added.</p><p>Tweek’s heart warmed at them defending him but fell at the idea Cartman knew about the study session.</p><p>“Well looks like I will have to come see for myself as he falls all over himself in front of a classroom.” Cartman said with delight. </p><p>“You aren’t invited fat ass. Only people who actually want to learn.” Kyle said.</p><p>“Wait, you were invited?” Cartman shouted looking furious. “Why wasn’t I invited Tweek?”</p><p>“I-I wasn’t in charge of the guest list.” Tweek replied with his eyes looking to the floor.</p><p>Before Cartman could spit out a retort Kenny stood up and said, “Your first instinct when finding out Tweek was teaching a lesson was to insult him. I wonder why no one told you.”</p><p>Cartman turned his eyes to Kenny. “I wasn’t insulting Tweek. I was insulting Bebe. How could anyone teach her anything.”</p><p>Three things happened at the same time. The bell rang. Kenny shouted, “You called him twitchy asshole.” Clyde shouted what Tweek could only assume was a French curse word at Cartman due to the slight against Bebe.</p><p>When the shouts and bell cleared the room was silent for a second and Tweek took the relative calm to say, “Anyone that wants help with math can come to Mr. Robinson’s room. We have it for 45 minutes.”</p><p>Kenny, who was next to Tweek in the back row added, “And, I’ll personally remove anyone who causes trouble.”</p><p>Clyde and Craig both said, “Me too” at the same time.</p><p>Everyone filed out and it looked like most of the class was headed for Mr. Robinson’s room. Kenny and Tweek were in the back of the group as they made their way down the hall. “You really found your voice there.” Kenny said with a smile.</p><p>Tweek grinned. “Yeah, thanks for the backup.”</p><p>“Anytime.”</p><p>When they entered Mr. Robinson’s room most of the other students had already sat down. The room was arranged very similarly to Garrison’s room which resulted in everyone taking the seat they would have occupied in math.</p><p>Mr. Robinson was still there packing up his computer. When he saw Tweek he beamed and said “Hola Tweek. El aula es tuya. Tengo una reunión y volveré para cerrar la puerta en cuarenta y cinco minutos.” With that he finished packing his back and left.</p><p>“I know he said hello and we have the room. I didn’t understand the rest.” Tweek said puzzled.</p><p>Token came to the rescue. “He will be back in forty-five minutes to lock the door.”</p><p>“Oh, right.” Tweek said embarrassed. He should have guessed because he knew they only had 45 minutes and of course Mr. Robinson would want to lock the door at the end of the day.</p><p>Tweek now turned his attention to the students in the room. It was easily two-thirds of the class. He gulped and said, “Well I’m g-going to run through a quick review of Monday’s and today’s lesson. I figure with questions that will take us 25 minutes. After that we can work through some practice problems that are similar to the homework.”</p><p>No one said anything and Tweek avoiding looking near Cartman or Craig, but for very different reasons.</p><p>“I guess I’ll just start then…” Tweek said as he turned to the whiteboard and found a marker.</p><p>“How did you make sample homework problems if we only just got the homework assignment 10 minutes ago?” Heidi asked.</p><p>“And why can’t you just do the actual homework problems?” Cartman added.</p><p>Kenny clicked his tongue. “Tweek isn’t doing your homework for you.”</p><p>Before Cartman could reply to Kenny Tweek addressed Heidi, “Mr. Garrison’s class webpage was never updated from last semester. Nothing has changed yet.”</p><p>And before anyone could ask, Tweek added, “The tests and quizzes are not on there.”</p><p>Then Tweek took a deep breath and started the lesson.</p><p>The next 30 minutes flew by. Tweek reviewed the law of Cosines and law of Sines. “The law of Cosines formula has three side lengths and one angle. Therefore, if you are given three sides (SSS) you can fine the angle. Alternatively, you could have one angle and two sides and be looking for the last side However, the angle has to be between the two known sides (SAS), you can’t use it for angle-side-side (ASS).”</p><p>The angle-side-side (ASS) resulted in the obligatory giggles from the students, but Kenny took it a step further and shouted, “Even though we can’t use the law of cosines on it our teacher has a nice A-S-S.”</p><p>Tweek jumped and everyone laughed. Bebe made a wolf-whistle sound.</p><p>“Kenny can sexually harass the teacher, but I can’t ask for homework answers?” Cartman asked annoyed.</p><p>“I hate to say it, but Cartman has a point.” Craig said. “Don’t make Clyde and me remove you for causing trouble McCormick.”</p><p>Kenny put his hands up in mock defeat, “Apologies. I will not need to be forcibly removed for objectifying the teacher by my fellow math bouncers. Carry on Professor Tweek.”</p><p>Tweek really had no idea how to process any of what just happened. What would doing the law of cosines on someone’s ass even mean? He shoved that thought down and looked back down at his notes to find his place.</p><p>“Right. As I was saying. The law of Cosines needs to start with side-side-side (SSS) or side-angle-side (SAS). The law of sines uses two sides and two angles in the formula, therefore when solving those problems, you will have two sides and one angle or one side and two angles. Then you solve for the missing one. You would need the triangle to be side-side-angle (SSA), angle-angle-side (AAS), or angle-side-angle (ASA). Of course, those last two are really the same since if you know two angles you know all three since they must sum to 180 degrees.”</p><p>Tweek then showed some examples and started on the practice problems. At the end of the forty-five minutes Mr. Robinson reentered and told them it was time to wrap it up so he could lock the door and go home. Tweek was drained but felt accomplished as he watched his classmates pack up their things.</p><p>“When is our next class?” Kyle asked as he bent down to pick up a pencil that had rolled off his desk.</p><p>Tweek had very little energy left after speaking and answering questions for 45 minutes and just looked puzzled.</p><p>“The test is next Thursday, which means we should meet soon. I think tomorrow is too early and no one is going to be in the mood to study on Friday. That means Monday is our best bet.” Wendy said with her normal air of authority.</p><p>There was general murmur of ascent and Cartman didn’t even have a snappy one-liner. Tweek turned to Mr. Robinson, who was patiently waiting for them to leave. Apparently, he had been listening to the conversation as he said, “Puedes usar la habitación el lunes.”</p><p>Tweek nodded and Kenny shouted, “See you all Monday folks!”</p><p>Tweek nodded and they all funneled out of the room and into the hallway.</p><p>Most people started going their separate ways. The girls were already heading down the stairs, Craig’s gang was in discussion about something and Stan’s gang, minus Kenny, was chatting by Kyle’s locker only a few feet away. Kenny walked up to Tweek, who was still standing near Mr. Robinson’s door.</p><p>Kenny opened his mouth, but then waited as Mr. Robinson locked the door and headed away from them. Once he was around 20 feet away Kenny asked, “Did you make a decision on the weed. I can come over tomorrow if you want to bake something and then I can bring them to my house if you don’t want to hold onto them overnight.”</p><p>Tweek smiled. Kenny knew that was the best plan he could pitch and Tweek accepted. Kenny made to turn and head back to Stan’s gang, but Tweek asked him, “Can we walk home together? I want to talk about something.”</p><p>“Of course.” Kenny said with a smile behind his eyes.</p><p>They started walking towards the staircase when Craig came over and asked, “Hey, do you guys want to hang out? We might be going to Token’s house.”</p><p>“I keep telling you I don’t want to push it with the party.” Token said exasperatedly. “Let’s go to Clyde’s house.”</p><p>“That dump?” Jimmy asked.</p><p>“Hey!!” Clyde shouted.</p><p>“As much as this half-baked plan sounds fun, Tweek and I have a walk scheduled to discuss some important developments our lives.” Kenny said coolly.</p><p>“Developments?” Craig asked.</p><p>“Private information I’m afraid.” Kenny said in a mock-disappointed tone. “Well, we must be off, we bid you ado.”</p><p>And with that Kenny dragged Tweek away from Craig’s gang and towards the stairway to head down to the first floor and the school’s main entrance.</p><p>Once there were outside and far away from anyone else Tweek asked, “You have developments to share too?”</p><p>“No. But I figured you wouldn’t like it if I said you were going to tell me some personal thoughts on your sexuality.”</p><p>“Gah, how do you know it’s about that?”</p><p>“I’m just amazing.” Kenny said with a toothy smile.</p><p>Tweek groaned but didn’t say anything.</p><p>Sensing he could tee Tweek up a little Kenny said, “So, are we thinking you looking at boy parts was some failed experimenting? Or maybe you would take a tumble with anyone.”</p><p>Tweek’s face went red.</p><p>Kenny continued, “Or are you more firmly settled on liking your fellow man?”</p><p>“Probably the last one.” Tweek said quietly.</p><p>“My attempt to lighten the mood aside, it’s probably good to come out and say it,” Kenny suggested kindly. “Only if you want to, but I sense you do.”</p><p>Tweek took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. He stopped walking, which prompted Kenny to stop as well before turning to look at Tweek.</p><p>“I’m gay.”</p><p>“Congratulations Tweek!” Kenny said happily.</p><p>“Uh what?” Tweek asked confused.</p><p>“You are in tune with your sexuality, which is great. This is awesome!”</p><p>“I guess so.”</p><p>Kenny’s tone changed from happy to mischievous with a drawn out, “Soooooo.”</p><p>Tweek looked at him as if to ask, ‘so what?’</p><p>“Whose dick are you craving?”</p><p>“Gah. What?! C-craving!?” Tweek said startled.</p><p>“I’m assuming you are crushing on someone Tweek.”</p><p>Tweek went red.</p><p>“I'm right then.” Kenny observed.</p><p>“Do I have to tell you?”</p><p>“How else can I help you get some dick Tweek?” Kenny asked incredulously.</p><p>Tweek just looked alarmed and said nothing.</p><p>“Is it Token?”</p><p>“Gah, no.” Tweek replied.</p><p>“Probably for the best. Starting with a BBC could be too much.”</p><p>Tweek sputtered out an, “Oh Jesus Christ.”</p><p>“Kyle?”</p><p>“No”</p><p>“Hmm. I’ll have to think on it. But there are only so many boys we know.”</p><p>Tweek was a little relieved. He was unsure if he was ready for Kenny to know it was Craig yet.</p><p>“Oh, it’s Craig isn’t it.” Kenny guessed.</p><p>Tweek went bright red and said nothing.</p><p>“Yes, I’m right!”</p><p>“How?” was all Tweek could say.</p><p>“I’m a genius.” Kenny said with a self-satisfied smile.</p><p>“Blah,” was all Tweek could manage.</p><p>“Oh fuck. He invited us to hang out earlier.” Kenny realized as his face fell. “I cock-blocked you. Shit bro, I’m sorry.”</p><p>“It’s fine.” Tweek said not making eye contact with Kenny.</p><p>“I need to redeem myself. I am going to find out if he has had so much as one impure thought about a boy and if he has, I’m getting you on that dick.”</p><p>“Gah I don’t want that.”</p><p>“Oh, you want him on your dick instead? I just pictured you as the catcher, but if you want to be pitcher more power to you.”</p><p>“No, I mean I just want to hold his hand or something.” Tweek said quietly looking at his shoes.</p><p>“That’s so gay.” Kenny chuckled.</p><p>“If by ‘that’s so gay’ you mean it’s cute and wholesome, then yes. It’s really gay I want to hold another boy’s hand.” Tweek responded stiffly.</p><p>They reached Tweek’s house.</p><p>“Joking aside, I’m really proud you came out Tweek. I assume you want this under wraps until you tell some more people yourself, so I’ll keep the secret safe until you are ready. In the meantime, I’m going to watch Craig Tucker like a hawk to see if he so much as even looks at a boy.”</p><p>“Thanks, I feel better now that I have said it out loud to someone.” Tweek said with a weak smile. </p><p>“I’m really happy to hear that Tweek.”</p><p>The two boys turned to face each other, and Kenny gave Tweek a long and firm hug.</p><p>“Do you want to talk some more about it now?” Kenny asked. “I have some time. I can come in and sit down with you.”</p><p>“Maybe later. I just want to lay down right now to be honest.”</p><p>Kenny nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow. And remember, you are perfect just the way you are.”</p><p>Tweek smiled and gave Kenny a wave as Kenny turned to head home.</p><p>***</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time on Professor Tweek!</p><p>Chapter 8: Special Brownies and Craig-Themed Cup Cakes</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Special Brownies and Craig-Themed Cup Cakes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Watch out for spoons, and don't ask about Tweek Town Two. Despite the alliteration, terrible things happened.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>2:25pm Thursday April 30<sup>th</sup></strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Tweek was taking notes on the components of a cell while the clock ticked away towards the end of the school day. Tweek had enjoyed learning about lysosomes because the word sounded funny on his tongue. He hadn’t even been afraid to describe what lysosomes do when he was called on earlier in the lesson. Lysosomes can destroy viruses or bacteria, but normally break down extra or old parts of the cell. They keep the cell neat and tidy!</p><p>The day as a whole had been uneventful, which Tweek didn’t mind at all. He had sat with Stan’s gang at lunch, which is when Kenny and Tweek made plans to walk home together and bake the brownies.</p><p>Kenny would supply the weed, Tweek would bake the brownies and then Kenny would take them home with him for safe keeping until the party tomorrow. Tweek didn’t want them hanging around his house because he was paranoid his parents would think he was a stone’s throw away from hard drugs if they found out. Additionally, what if his parents found them and had a brownie and didn’t realize they were high and got into a car crash and died on the way to the coffee shop? Tweek would be sent to an orphanage. Actually, he would be put into the foster system since he didn’t think there were orphanages anymore. Or more likely, he would probably be arrested for involuntary manslaughter. Tweek would not do well in prison.</p><p>The bell rang and Tweek started packing up his things. His long-empty coffee thermos had rolled behind him and Tweek had to twist completely in his chair to grab it. Before he returned to a normal sitting position Craig appeared next to his desk.</p><p>“Oh, hey dude.” Tweek said as he placed the recently retrieved thermos in his bag</p><p>“Hey Tweek.” They both just looked at each other for a second and then Craig continued, “I was wondering if you could help me with some of the math homework. We could just head to the library for a little while if you are free.”</p><p>His expression was unreadable, but the whole thing felt a bit awkward. Maybe Craig didn’t like admitting he needed help.</p><p>“I’m sorry Craig.” Tweek began as his heart fluttered. “I am meeting up with Kenny at my house. I’m supposed to go find him now.”</p><p>“Oh, okay. I’ll see you later then I guess.” Craig said as his eyes fell. He turned to go, but then Tweek figured Kenny would feel really guilty if he caused Tweek to miss spending time with Craig two days in arow.</p><p>“If you want to c-come with us to my house you can help us make the brownies. It s-shouldn’t take more than an hour or so. Then we can look at the homework together after Kenny takes them to his house.”</p><p>Craig turned around and asked, “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes.” Tweek nodded as the idea of Craig being in his house made his stomach jump.</p><p>“That sounds fun. I’m shit at baking though.” Craig said with a grin.</p><p>“I’m sure it will be fine. I can teach you!”</p><p>“What can’t you teach someone Tweek?”</p><p>“How to survive prison.” Tweek responded flatly.</p><p>Craig let out a confused chuckle, but didn’t question the prison comment. Tweek finished gathering up his things. They left biology and Tweek led them towards the back of the building to the woodshop room because that is where Kenny would be since he had Architecture last that day.</p><p>When they entered the woodshop room, they found Kenny gluing trees around his model house. Kenny was really in the zone; he had been working on the house in his architecture class for months and now only had to finish the landscaping. Kenny didn’t even notice the two boys until they were within three feet of him, and that was only because Tweek almost tripped and fell on an extension cord on the floor.</p><p>“Hello Tweek! And Craig, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Kenny asked with a broad smile.</p><p>“C-C-Craig wants a little more help with math and I’m going to help him after we b-b-bake the brownies.” Tweek replied.</p><p>Craig nodded and Kenny responded, “Sounds good. Just give me a few minutes to finish the trees.”</p><p>Craig took this opportunity to look around the room and Kenny took the opening to give Tweek a look of pure glee which caused Tweek’s cheeks to go pink.</p><p>“Whose house is this?” Craig asked from the other side of the room.</p><p>Kenny turned to look and said, “That’s Red’s house. It’s nice, but not as nice as mine. And I just planted the last tree – let’s roll.”</p><p>Kenny grabbed his bag and the three of them headed for the door.</p><p>As they started to walk to Tweek’s house Kenny decided he would be the leading force in conversation much to Tweek’s chagrin. Kenny started by asking “Craig, can you help me with something?”</p><p>“Uh sure.” Craig replied uncertainly.</p><p>“I have been trying to convince Tweek for ages to change up his wardrobe a bit. He wears some version of a green button-down shirt and jeans like every day.”</p><p>“Oh Jesus.” Tweek said.</p><p>Kenny continued, “Don’t you think we should get him some t-shirts with angsty sayings on them, or maybe we could go classy with some nice sweaters.”</p><p>“What exactly am I helping with?” Craig said dryly.</p><p>“I need someone to agree Tweek should change it up.” Kenny said.</p><p>“I think Tweek looks good the way he is.”</p><p>Tweek’s ears perked up as Kenny said, “Ugh fine” in a tone of mock disappointment. “I still think he could really turn some heads with a little bit of a makeover.”</p><p>“Why aren’t we picking out new clothes for you Kenny? Why am I the one that suffers?” Tweek asked annoyed.</p><p>“I have no money to spare on new clothes Tweek. I just have to use my amazing charm.”</p><p>Both Tweek and Craig laughed at this and Kenny joined in too.</p><p>The group made it to Tweek’s house and Tweek locked the door behind them. He checked the locks twice before leading them all to the kitchen.</p><p>They put their bags down and Tweek put on an apron.</p><p>“Do we get aprons too Tweek?” Kenny asked excitedly.</p><p>“Ummm, yes I do have some extras if you want.” Tweek turned back to the pantry and pulled out two identical white aprons for Kenny and Craig. They put them on as Tweek got some bowls and measuring cups out of the cabinets.</p><p>“You already went through the d-decarboxylation process, right?” Tweek asked Kenny.</p><p>“Yes Captain.” Kenny replied with a salute.</p><p>“Decarbo what?” Craig asked confused.</p><p>“Decarboxylation. It’s just a fancy way of saying we need to dry and heat the cannabis in order to increase its effectiveness.” Tweek said as Kenny handed him a bag of decarboxylated cannabis. Once holding the bag, he looked up at Craig and could tell Craig was still confused. Tweek continued, “If I were to roll a joint, I would light the end on fire. That adds heat and makes cannabis dryer. This kind of replaces that.”</p><p>Craig nodded, “Oh, that makes sense.”</p><p>Tweek was now really enjoying how focused Craig was on him and elongated his explanation. “Last night Kenny put the cannabis on a baking sheet and baked it for around 40 minutes on 240 degrees.”</p><p>“So now it’s ready for the brownies?”</p><p>“Not quiet. In order to ensure we evenly spread the THC throughout our confectionaries I’m going to combine it with butter, strain it and then use our cannabis butter in the recipe.”</p><p>“Throughout our confectionaries.” Kenny repeated with a laugh. “Someone likes to show off with big words when he goes into professor mode.”</p><p>Tweek blushed a little as he started adding a stick and a half of butter into a saucepan.</p><p>“I like your teacher mode Tweek. You are confident and I learn a lot.” Craig said. Luckily Tweek was stirring the melting butter, which hid the fact that he was blushing.</p><p>“It’s true. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hot for teacher right now.” Kenny added.</p><p>“Oh, shut up Kenny.” Tweek said with a smile as he added the decarboxylated cannabis to the now liquid butter.</p><p>Kenny decided to plow on keeping an eye trained on Craig’s expression, “Well you are a solid teacher but a C+ floor hockey player…”</p><p>Tweek cut in with a, “Hey. I’m an excellent floor hockey player,” as he added a pot to the stove and started boiling some water.</p><p>Kenny took a step toward Tweek putting him just in front of Craig and continued, “Fine, a B- floor hockey player then.”</p><p>Tweek had just placed a second pot on the counter to melt the chocolate in but instead of grabbing the chocolate he threw the wooden spoon he had been using on the cannabis butter at Kenny. Kenny artfully dodged it, but then the spoon hit Craig right in the crotch.</p><p>“Ow.” Craig yelled as he cupped his balls and hunched over.</p><p>“Oh Jesus. Craig I’m so sorry.” Tweek said in a panic as Kenny burst out laughing.</p><p>Craig didn’t respond immediately and Tweek ran to the freezer for an icepack. He grabbed one from the top shelf and ran back to Craig who had moved to a chair to sit down.</p><p>“I’m so sorry Craig. Do you want this ice back for your… umm… stuff?</p><p>Craig looked up at a very concerned Tweek. “I’m fine. Can you just get me a glass of water and maybe not throw any other kitchen utensils?”</p><p>“Gah of course.” Tweek scurried over to the cabinet to get Craig a glass of water. Thirty seconds later Craig had some water and Kenny had picked up the slack and was starting to melt the chocolate in the double pot set-up Tweek had assembled before the spoon incident.</p><p>As Craig sipped his water Tweek checked on the butter, which was still simmering and started measuring out the sugar, salt and flour. Kenny maintained his station melting the chocolate. Once the butter was done Tweek started adding everything to a big bowl. Kenny grabbed eggs and some vanilla extract for Tweek to add into his bowl of chocolaty goodness.</p><p>By the time Tweek was pouring the mixture into the baking pan Craig was back too normal and had stood up to help put away the ingredients strewn across the counter.</p><p>“Excellent.” Tweek exclaimed as the oven door closed, and a timer was set. “Those should be delicious.”</p><p>“And as a group we are only down one testicle.” Kenny laughed.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Craig claimed.</p><p>Tweek looked mortified so Craig continued, “Seriously, it’s fine Tweek.”</p><p>Tweek nodded nervously.</p><p>“So, what’s next boys?” Kenny asked.</p><p>“Well I wanted to bake something that was drug-free too.” Tweek said. “I was thinking cupcakes.”</p><p>“I like cupcakes.” Craig replied.</p><p>“Great, but I’m going to just use a box since we already made the brownies from scratch and Craig and I still have some math to do once this is over.”</p><p>Tweek grabbed a box out of the pantry and they set to work. By the time the batter was done, and the cupcake tin was prepped the brownie timer was going off.</p><p>“Perfect timing.” Kenny remarked as Tweek went to fetch some oven mitts. Tweek pulled the brownies out of the oven, adjusted the temperature for the cupcakes and then slid those in.</p><p>The boys started cleaning up and after everything was put away Kenny gingerly put his finger on the side of the brownie pan. “This seems cool enough to carry with my gloves on. I better get going to make sure someone fed Karen.”</p><p>“Sounds good. And don’t eat any before the party tomorrow – I didn’t want to make a huge amount so we should cut them into small pieces because they are strong.”</p><p>Kenny nodded and gathered up his stuff. Once Kenny was ready Tweek followed him to the front door to open it leaving Craig in the kitchen.</p><p>“I think this is going very well.” Kenny whispered.</p><p>“I threw a spoon at him and injured his junk.” Tweek groaned in anguish.</p><p>“He didn’t even get mad at you. If it had been anyone else, I’m sure he would have been pissed.”</p><p>“Well, he wants some math help later. Maybe he thinks he has to be nice to me.”</p><p>“Whatever you say.” Kenny said with a smile.</p><p>“And he isn’t even gay.” Tweek added quietly as he looked around to check Craig was still out of ear shot.</p><p>“Maybe, but I think I detected a little jealousy behind his eyes when I mentioned I was hot for teacher.” Kenny said with a self-satisfied smirk only Kenny could pull off.</p><p>“Don’t get my hopes up.” Tweek whispered as Kenny turned to walk home.</p><p>Tweek closed the door, took a deep breath, shoved all his thoughts down, locked the door and went back to Craig Tucker, who was hanging out in his kitchen browsing icing flavors in the pantry.</p><p>“Hey.” Tweek said to alert Craig to his presence.</p><p>“I want to use this buttercream icing because we can use the food coloring to make cool colors.” Craig responded cheerily.</p><p>“That sounds like a great idea.” Tweek replied as he approached the pantry. He felt his heart rate increase a little now that he and Craig were alone. Tweek’s eyes clung to the tufts of hair poking out from Craig’s chullo. Tweek wanted to reach up and run his fingers through Craig’s hair gently.</p><p>“Is there something on my chullo?” Craig asked Tweek with a furrowed brow. Apparently Tweek’s staring hadn’t gone unnoticed.</p><p>“Gah, No.” Tweek said in a rush. He had to think of a reason for staring up at Craig like that. “I was just thinking we could do blue and yellow cupcakes.”</p><p>“Inspired by my chullo!”</p><p>“Yeah.” Tweek said feeling lucky that Craig seemed to accept that excuse for his staring.</p><p>Tweek grabbed another two bowls and started dolloping icing into them. Craig carefully added a few drops of food coloring and mixed the yellow-colored icing and Tweek took the blue. When they were done Tweek checked the timer for the cupcakes and said, “We still have 10 minutes left on the cupcakes before they are done. After that we will need to wait at least 30 minutes before we can ice them.”</p><p>“Sounds good."</p><p>“Do you want to look at those math problems now? We can set up at the dining room table?”</p><p>“Oh yeah. I guess so.” Craig grabbed his bag and moved towards the dining room as Tweek covered the icing bowls with plastic wrap.</p><p>When Tweek entered the dining room he found Craig turning pages quickly every which way. “Having trouble finding the problem you got stuck on?”</p><p>“Yeah, I think it was at the end of the homework set due tomorrow. I actually don’t have my math notebook so I'm not 100% sure.”</p><p>Tweek wasn’t sure what to say so he grabbed some paper and a pencil and waited patiently.</p><p>“I think it was this one.” Craig said pointing to problem 53.</p><p>“Oh, that one. It’s an AAS triangle since we have two angles followed by the side across from the first angle, which means you can use law of sines to get the second side length. After you could law of cosines for the last side length or just calculate the third angle and use law of sines again.”</p><p>“Oh perfect.” Craig said and he closed his book.</p><p>“Aren’t you going to write that down?” Tweek asked confused.</p><p>“Umm. I’ll remember now.”</p><p>Before Tweek could respond the timer went off to take out the cupcakes. He jumped up and headed to the kitchen. Once both trays of cupcakes were sitting happily on the counter and the oven was turned off, Tweek checked twice, Tweek went back into the dining room to see Craig had put his book away.</p><p>Tweek had assumed Craig needed more help than just one homework problem, but apparently not.</p><p>“So, what do you want to do while the cupcakes cool?” Craig asked.</p><p>“Gah, you don’t need to stay for that!” Tweek exclaimed. “I made you wait long enough for that one math problem.”</p><p>“It’s fine. I’m having fun. Spoon to the dick notwithstanding.”</p><p>Tweek blushed and mumbled another apology.</p><p>“No more apologies.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“Anyway, what do you do for fun when you aren’t teaching, baking or working?”</p><p>Tweek was caught off guard by this question. “Well I will sometimes watch the news.” Tweek realized by the look on Craig’s face that was not a cool answer, so he continued, “I also play video games on my computer.”</p><p>“You are sixteen Tweek. Why are you watching the news?”</p><p>“I need to be ready for all the scary things out there!”</p><p>“Uh huh. Okay well what video games do you play?”</p><p>“I have been playing Cities Skylines a fair amount lately if I can’t sleep.”</p><p>“Do you make a city or something?”</p><p>“Yeah. It’s a lot of fun. You pick a landscape and name a town. Then you can build roads and stuff and then people come to live in your city!”</p><p>“Do people like your city?”</p><p>“Of course they do!”</p><p>“Is there a coffee shop on every corner?” Craig asked with a smile.</p><p>“No.” Tweek said sadly. “You can zone for things, like residential or commercial. But I can’t force the commercial area to be a coffee shop.</p><p>“Can I see your city?” Craig asked.</p><p>“Gah, oh sure.” Tweek was surprised Craig was so interested in his city. “It’s on my computer upstairs. My room is really messy though.”</p><p>“It’s fine.” Craig said happily and started walking towards the stairs.</p><p>Tweek felt butterflies in this stomach. Craig Tucker wanted to go to his room. But like the real Craig Tucker, not the one that visited Tweek’s late-night fantasies.</p><p>Craig waited at the foot of the stairs to allow Tweek to lead the way up. Tweek walked up the stairs praying his room was somewhat respectable. When he pushed his bedroom door open he realized it was not and quickly shut the door before Craig could see.</p><p>“Is that your room?” Craig asked confused.</p><p>“Y-yes, but it’s too messy.”</p><p>“Oh, come on dude.” But Tweek didn’t budge. “Okay, how about I go to the bathroom and give you two minutes to get your shit together.”</p><p>“Deal,” Tweek agreed as he opened his door just enough to squeeze in without Craig saying the mess. He immediately started throwing clothes into the closet and pushed the random piles of things on his desk into a draw. He turned to this bed and straightened the quilt even though knew the sheet under it was messed up.</p><p>There was a knock on the door and a muffled, “times up,” from Craig.</p><p>Tweek let the other teenager into the room.</p><p>“It looks fine Tweek.”</p><p>“It looks fine now,” Tweek countered.</p><p>“Okay where is this city?” Craig asked. “What’s it called anyway?”</p><p>Tweek pretended not to hear Craig’s second question as he opened his laptop. “One second.”</p><p>Both boys were awkwardly standing in front of Tweek’s desk as he opened up one of his cities.</p><p>“Tweek Town Three,” Craig said with a laugh as the name appeared on screen. “Very creative.”</p><p>“Don’t make fun of it!” Tweek had hoped Craig wouldn’t see the name.</p><p>“I’m not making fun of it Tweek.” Craig said as he gave Tweek a playful shove. “I’m just giving you a hard time because it’s funny.”</p><p>Tweek’s head was spinning at how close they were. He pushed on Craig’s shoulder in return and said, “You wouldn’t be laughing if you knew what went down in Tweek Town Two.”</p><p>“Alright, what happened to Tweek Town Two?”</p><p>"Bad things."</p><p>"Come on, tell me!"</p><p>“Well, I got an add on for natural disasters and there were forest fires that I decided to put out with a tsunami.”</p><p>“What!! That’s awesome.”</p><p>“I know!” Tweek said excitedly. “But the city was demolished. It is a little sad because they were in the middle of a big push towards renewable energy.”</p><p>“Tsunami didn't care.”</p><p>“No, it did not. Anyway, let me show you around Tweek Town Three.”</p><p>The tour lasted around fifteen minutes as Tweek showed Craig where the city started and how it expanded. Tweek was very proud of how educated his townspeople were and how he had put in a lot of train lines to help lower congestion on the roadways.</p><p>Tweek felt like he was in his element explaining the ins and outs of the layout to Craig and Craig appeared to be enjoying himself. It was really nice and Tweek swelled with happiness.  </p><p>“Can your city have a space program?” Craig asked.</p><p>“Actually yes.”</p><p>“No way. I need to get this game.”</p><p>“I haven’t done it yet, but I think you can launch rockets.”</p><p>“I’m totally going home and getting to space before you.”</p><p>“It’s not a competition.”</p><p>“If you say so.” Craig said airily.</p><p>Tweek laughed. “Well, we better go ice those cupcakes.”</p><p>Both boys stood up and headed towards the door and down the stairs. Once back in the kitchen Tweek started icing all of the cupcakes blue and then Craig put a little ball of yellow on top of each one to match his chullo.</p><p>When they were done, they had two dozen Craig themed cupcakes.</p><p>“I think they look perfect."</p><p>“You would say that.” Tweek grinned.</p><p>“I better get home.” Craig said as he looked at the kitchen clock, which read 6:45pm.</p><p>“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Tweek said as he walked Craig to the door. Craig walked outside, but before he made it to the sidewalk he turned and waved to Tweek. Tweek waved back, closed the door and then slid down onto the floor and exhaled as if he had been holding his breath.</p><p>He had spent four hours with Craig Tucker, and the last hour was just the two of them. It had been awesome. Craig had been kind, funny and happy the whole time – even when Tweek had injured him. Maybe Craig just wanted to be Tweek’s friend, but maybe – just maybe, Craig wanted Tweek the same way Tweek wanted him.</p><p>***</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time on Professor Tweek!</p><p>Chapter 9: The Party – Part I</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Party – Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Everyone loves Craig (cupcakes) in their mouth.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>11:00am Friday May 1<sup>st</sup></strong>
</p><p>Tweek was on autopilot as he walked from English to lunch. He was running on nothing but coffee, hormones and those flipping stomach butterflies that would appear whenever he was near, or thinking about, Craig. He had tossed and turned most of the night thinking about how much fun he had with Craig while baking cupcakes. They got along well and Tweek, albeit nervous around Craig, felt a sense of ease with him.</p><p>Once Tweek had accepted his feelings for the chullo wearing boy Tweek had assumed he would pine in peace and would never do anything about it. Craig was probably straight and Tweek had always been weird anyway. Tweek would go to college, reinvent himself and go from there. Craig would be the boy that unknowingly helped Tweek figure himself out along the way. That was the plan on Monday afternoon, but last night while looking up at the dark ceiling he opened himself up to the possibility maybe something could happen between them. What a week it had been.</p><p>Kenny thought there was a chance Craig might be interested in Tweek and Tweek had poured over the ‘evidence’ in his mind all night. Craig had never shown an interest in any girl in particular, Craig had shown concern when Tweek was hurt in gym and Craig wasn’t even mad at Tweek when he accidently hit Craig in the balls with a spoon. Additionally, it sounded like Craig wanted to start playing the same computer game as him, which would provide them more things to talk about together.</p><p>Craig and Tweek had rarely hung out one-on-one, but Tweek did occasionally hang out with Craig’s gang. Tweek had wondered once why Craig was a little nicer to him than Craig was to members of his own group of friends. Tweek assumed it was because Craig was closer with them, so making fun of Clyde or Token was fine since they were all buddies. Tweek hadn't totally entered that circle so it would be awkward for Craig to poke fun at Tweek the same way he did with Clyde or Token. That was Tweek’s theory anyway, but what if was really because Craig had a soft spot for Tweek?</p><p>All of this thinking, and fantasies of Craig kissing him in the backroom of the coffee shop left Tweek with maybe three hours of sleep. When his alarm woke him up at 6:30am Tweek had risen from bed and figured he would look in his closet for his old thermos, which wasn’t as good as his new one, but if he brought both of them it afforded him the ability to bring double the coffee to school – which was how he had downed two thermoses of coffee by 11:00am.</p><p>All things considered the first half of the day hadn’t been bad. Mr. Robinson could tell he was dead tired and cut him some slack in Spanish, which was lucky since he ended up having expend his energy reserves to read Lord of the Flies out loud in English. Why couldn’t they just read it at home and discuss it in class? Spoiler, kids shouldn’t run their own island. Regardless, Spanish and English were done. That left Lunch, Gym and Algebra II.</p><p>The hormones and butterflies kicked in when Craig intercepted Tweek on his way into the cafeteria.</p><p>“Hey Tweek.”</p><p>“Gah! Craig, what’s up dude?”</p><p>“Do you want me to come over before the party at like 7:45pm to help you bring the cupcakes over to Token’s place?”</p><p>“Oh, that would be great.” Tweek replied as his heart rate increased.</p><p>“Awesome. You make any additions to Tweek Town?”</p><p>“Not yesterday, but maybe this w-weekend. I want to expand but I need to move some of the sewage drains since they drain into the river and the plot of land that I want to build on is downstream.”</p><p>“Very thoughtful.” Craig said with a smile.</p><p>As they had been chatting Craig had led Tweek over to his lunch table and Tweek sat down. He looked over towards Stan’s gang and saw Kenny looking straight at him. His eyebrows were raised so high they disappeared into his parka. The look on Kenny’s face was clear to Tweek, ‘Craig Tucker is not this nice to people.’</p><p>Token greeted Tweek when he sat down. “Hey Tweek, I heard you made the brownies and cupcakes all with Craig trying to sabotage you.”</p><p>“Gah what!” Tweek replied alarmed.</p><p>“Yeah, Craig said he was helping you, but Craig? Baking? Helping? Sounds fishy.” Clyde added.</p><p>“Hey!” Craig snapped. “I helped!”</p><p>“W-what d-did Craig do to help?” Jimmy asked.</p><p>“Ummm, h-h-he mixed some food coloring into the icing.”</p><p>Jimmy, Clyde and Token started laughing hysterically at this. “He mixed food coloring into icing?” Token laughed. “Jesus, you just watched this poor boy do all the work just to show up at the end with some colored icing.”</p><p>Jimmy, Clyde and Token started laughing hysterically at this. “He mixed food coloring into icing?” Token said. “Jesus, you just watched this poor boy do all the work just to show up at the end with some colored icing.”</p><p>“Craig was really helpful!” Tweek added in a rush.</p><p>“Yeah see, I was helpful.” Craig pouted with his arms crossed.</p><p>“Sure.” Token said rolling his eyes. “Anyway. Everything looks good for tonight. Stan and Red have the alcohol, Kenny has Tweek’s special brownies, Tweek has the cupcakes, my parents are gone, and the girls want to play seven minutes in heaven.”</p><p>“P-p-party time.” Jimmy shouted.</p><p>“Seven minutes in heaven, nice!” Clyde said excitedly. “It will give you boys a chance to catch up with me.”</p><p>“Catch up with you?” Craig asked questioningly.</p><p>“Well, I’m sure Bebe and I are going to be making out all night. I don’t see any of you making out with anyone.”</p><p>Craig scowled at this as Tweek wondered what Craig’s lips felt like. They were probably soft.</p><p>“It has b-b-been awhile since V-Vanessa.” Jimmy conceded.</p><p>“We have to get grumpy here some action.” Clyde said pointing at Craig. “Might improve his mood.”</p><p>Tweek’s daydream that now involved Craig kissing Tweek while they both sat astride a white horse popped.  </p><p>Craig rolled his eyes and flipped off Clyde but didn’t say anything.</p><p>“That look and hand gesture are both major turn-offs Craig. You should fix that.” Clyde suggested seriously. He turned to Token, “How about you Token?”</p><p>Token was chewing and he took his time before answering. Once his mouth wasn’t full, he replied, “I’m not really interested in anyone specific right now, but I wouldn’t say no to a few minutes in heaven.”</p><p>This statement didn’t seem very odd to Tweek, but Clyde and Jimmy reacted as if it was a big deal. Clyde clapped Token on the back and Jimmy said, “G-go get ‘em tiger.”</p><p>Token smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, it would be the first person since Wendy.”</p><p>Now it made sense to Tweek. Token and Wendy had dated for most of freshman year, and then Wendy went back to Stan just before sophomore year started and broke Token’s heart. Tweek assumed this was the first time Token showed interest in ‘getting back out there’ based on Clyde and Jimmy’s reaction. Tweek felt bad for Token, it appeared he had been upset about Wendy for longer than Tweek would have guessed since it had been almost a year since the breakup.</p><p>The topic of conversation changed at that point as Jimmy tested some jokes he wanted to use at the party. Tweek happily ate his sandwich and laughed with the rest.</p><p>Lunch ended and Tweek walked with Craig and Token to gym. They were done with floor hockey and moved on to doubles tennis. They spent most of the period listening to Mr. Connors as he gave a demo. At least they got to be outside. It was cold, but Tweek didn’t mind.</p><p>Even though the lesson took a long time they did get to play one game. Tweek was paired with Butters and they played Bradley and Scott. Butters was on the tennis team and that made up for the fact that Tweek was uncoordinated garbage. They won their match and headed back to the locker room. Tweek was very proud of himself for not perving on Craig once while changing and then headed to Algebra II.</p><p>Garrison was still horrible, but maybe not as bad as Tweek was a tennis. They were finishing up chapter 10 that day, which meant they would have all the content they needed for the test next Thursday. Tweek noted when 1:38pm and 11 seconds passed by on the clock with a smile.</p><p>A little less than an hour later the final bell rang and Tweek was out the door. He headed straight home to take a nap.</p><p>Tweek was home and in bed before 3pm and by some miracle he fell asleep quickly. At 6:30pm his alarm went off and he headed downstairs for dinner with a yawn but pleased he would have enough sleep banked to make it through the party.</p><p>“Hello son.” His father said with a cup of coffee in his hand as he sat at the head of the table.</p><p>Tweek nodded as his form of greeting and sat down. They sat in silence as his father closed his eyes to take in the coffee’s flavor.</p><p>Finally, his mom came in with plates of chicken, mashed potatoes and carrots. “Hello sweetie,” Mrs. Tweak said happily as she served her son.</p><p>Tweek responded by saying, “This looks really good Mom.”</p><p>“Thank you, it was nothing. I had to get it ready quickly since I know you have your party tonight.”</p><p>“Party?” Richard asked.</p><p>“Yeah, at Token’s house.” Tweek replied. “It’s more of a get together than a party.”</p><p>“Will there be girls there?” Richard inquired.</p><p>“Gah umm yeah.” Tweek said as he cut his chicken clumsily.</p><p>“Do we need to have a talk?” Richard asked. “I could put on a fresh pot.”</p><p>Tweek’s face went red. “Gah Jesus no. You have given me the talk already.”</p><p>“I’m too young for grandchildren son.” Richard said sternly. “How would that look for business?”</p><p>Tweek was thinking about how that would not be a problem as his father continued, “If you need condoms, I can give you some.”</p><p>Tweek started choking on the carrot he had been eating.</p><p>“Don’t embarrass him dear.” Mrs. Tweak said. “I don’t think we need to worry about Tweek getting involved with sexual relationships yet.”</p><p>Yeah, because who would want to touch me? Tweek thought.</p><p>“Even so. Tweek I’m going to give you some condoms.”</p><p>“Jesus,” was all Tweek could say.</p><p>After that Richard started talking about the coffee shop and Tweek was able to tune him out and eat in relative peace.</p><p>Once the meal ended Tweek helped load the dishes into the dishwasher and ran upstairs to shower. He let the hot water wash over him. It was scalding hot, but it calmed Tweek somehow. He was excited for a party for the first time in his life. Craig was going to help him bring the cupcakes, which meant he wouldn't arrive alone and stand around awkwardly trying to figure out who to talk to. Craig also didn’t seem too interested in seven minutes in heaven, so maybe Craig wouldn’t get trapped with Red in a closet.</p><p>Tweek lost track of time and decided he better turn off the water and dry himself off. He brushed his teeth and looked at himself in the mirror. There was no need to shave as the peach fuzz he had removed from his face two weeks earlier had yet to make a reappearance. He wrapped the towel around his waist and headed back to his room. The odd thing was his door was open and his light was on.</p><p>Tweek assumed it was his father waiting with a box of condoms, but when he entered the room in only a towel with his hair extra crazy, he realized he was only half right.</p><p>Tweek let out a yelp and jumped into the air as he made eye contact with Craig Tucker holding a box of Trojan Ultra-Thin condoms. The only saving grace was that Tweek’s towel didn’t come loose when he jumped.</p><p>Tweek immediately crossed his arms over his chest in a feeble attempt to hide his body from Craig while he simultaneously took a step backwards.</p><p>“Oh, uh hi.” Craig said blushing.</p><p>“What the fuck are you doing in my room with those?” Tweek shouted in such a high-pitched voice he wondered if only dogs could hear it.</p><p>“I got here early, and your dad let me in and told me to wait in your room and to give these to you. Something about how taking care of a grandchild would distract from the business.  </p><p>Tweek’s eyes darted to the clock. It was only 7:31pm. Craig was a whole 14 minutes early and his dad gave him a flipping box of condoms. Craig Tucker was in his room, Tweek was practically naked, and Craig had condoms. It was like out of a fantasy, if the fantasy ended with Tweek on the verge of tears.</p><p>“Sorry. I’ll put this down and wait downstairs for you to change I suppose.” Craig offered awkwardly.</p><p>“No!”</p><p>“No?” Craig repeated confused.</p><p>“If you go downstairs my father might give you some other weird thing for me. Like lube or some shit.”</p><p>“Well, the condoms are pre-lubricated.” Craig said with a laugh pointing at the box that he had just placed on Tweek’s desk.</p><p>Tweek hit himself in the face with his palm in frustration.</p><p>Craig bounced on the balls of his feet waiting for Tweek to gather himself.</p><p>“Okay – sit down in my desk chair, face away, and pull your hat over your eyes.”</p><p>Craig laughed, but Tweek’s eyes intensified.</p><p>“Oh, you aren’t joking.”</p><p>Tweek continued staring at him.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll sit down.”</p><p>Once Craig was situated, he announced, “You are safe to disrobe.”</p><p>Tweek quickly found a pair of boxer briefs, pants, and a shirt. He normally would hang his towel on the back of his chair, but as Craig was sitting in the chair Tweek threw the towel over his closet door.</p><p>He was only totally exposed for a second before he got his boxer briefs on, but it was scarily thrilling to have been naked so close to Craig.</p><p>He had most of his shirt buttons buttoned when he told Craig he could look.  </p><p>“Thanks. Sorry for scaring you.”</p><p>“It’s fine. It’s not every day I get back from the shower to find someone holding a box of condoms in my bedroom.” Tweek said as he was grabbing socks.</p><p>“Oh, so you don’t have a long-line of lovers waiting for you every night?”</p><p>Tweek laughed as he pulled on the socks. “No, I do not.”</p><p>Craig laughed too and shifted back and forth on his feet as Tweek put shoes on.</p><p>“So why did you get here so early?” Tweek asked looking up at Craig.</p><p>Craig’s face darkened a little, and he paused before responding. “I was at home and got ready faster than expected.”</p><p>Tweek thought that didn’t really answer his question since Craig could have just hung out at home a little longer. Then he wouldn’t have seen Tweek in just a towel and Tweek wouldn’t be in the middle of trying to repress the memory.</p><p>“Anyway, the cupcakes are in the kitchen and we can grab them and go in just a minute. I just want to run a comb through my hair.”</p><p>Tweek finished getting ready and made to leave the room, but Craig was still standing by the desk.</p><p>“Do you want to bring your condoms?” Craig asked with a grin.</p><p>“Gah. No.”</p><p>Tweek turned and left the room to head downstairs. Craig followed him. It only took a few minutes to get the cupcakes ready for transport. Tweek had a special stackable cupcake holder and only needed to check the latches were secure.</p><p>Tweek said goodbye to his mom and dad. Tweek’s mom wanted a hug and Tweek groaned and said, “But I’m holding the cupcakes.”</p><p>Craig took the cupcakes and Tweek’s mom gave him a hug. He was bright red. Tweek was not looking very cool in front of Craig.</p><p>After that Tweek bolted for the door with Craig behind him.  </p><p>“I can take that back now.” Tweek offered as they turned their first corner a block away from Tweek’s house.</p><p>“It’s fine I got it.” Craig responded.</p><p>Tweek shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to think of something smart to say.</p><p>The silence ticked on for around 60 seconds and Tweek couldn't handle it anymore so he blurted out the first thing he could think of in a panic, “What’s your favorite color?”</p><p>Craig let out a laugh before answering. “Blue, but a dark blue. Like if you were watching the sunset and just before it set you turned around to look east instead of west. The sky would be a perfect dark blue.</p><p>“Oh wow. I don’t think many people look at the opposite end of the sky when the sun’s setting.”</p><p>“I like to see things others don’t. If everyone is looking at the same thing there may be something even more interesting happening elsewhere, but no one is looking. For example, when everyone at the lunch table was looking at Clyde while he doubted my helpfulness Jimmy stole a French fry from Token’s plate and no one noticed.”</p><p>“He stole a French fry?” Tweek asked amused.</p><p>“Yup. Anyway, what’s your favorite color?”</p><p>“Oh, well it’s green. But I don’t have any cool examples.”</p><p>“Favorite animal then?”</p><p>“Elephants. I like their trunks. And they have good memories.”</p><p>They continued on like this for a few minutes. Eventually they turned onto Token’s street and could see his house.</p><p>“Looks like we are just about there.” Craig observed.</p><p>They reached the front of the house and knocked.</p><p>“CUPCAKES!” Clyde screamed at the top of his lungs as he opened the door.</p><p>“Donovan, are you trying to make us go deaf?” Kenny said as he appeared behind Clyde. “How will Tweek ensure we all pass Algebra II if he can’t hear any of our questions? And how will Craig know when to flip people off if he can’t hear them?”</p><p>Craig flipped Kenny off.</p><p>“Ever the gentlemen Craig,” Kenny chuckled sarcastically.</p><p>They all headed into the kitchen and found Token, Jimmy, Stan, Red and Butters.</p><p>“Perfect.” Token said when his eyes fell on Craig holding the cupcakes. “We now have all the food and drinks.</p><p>“It’s time to party!” Stan yelled while cracking a beer.</p><p>Token continued, “I’m going to hide a few breakable decorations and lock some bedroom doors, but yes – we are ready. Actually, Craig can you put those down and help me?”</p><p>“Sure.” Craig replied. Tweek took the cupcakes and Craig followed Token to the living room.</p><p>Red followed Stan’s lead and picked up a beer as well. Tweek moved to the table and started putting out the cupcakes and Kenny came over to help. They laid the cupcakes out in rows that were offset, kind of like the stars on the flag.</p><p>“Tweek,” Kenny said with a smile.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Are these Craig Cupcakes?”</p><p>Tweek’s face flushed a little and the doorbell rang.</p><p>“We better go let whoever it is in. I think Token and Craig are all the way upstairs.” Butters said. Butters, Stan and Red all shuffled to the foyer leaving Kenny and Tweek alone in the kitchen.</p><p>“Well?” Kenny said with a smile.</p><p>“Well they are kind of Craig-themed I suppose.” Tweek admitted. “But that isn’t even the most interesting thing that happened in the past twenty-four hours.  </p><p>“Oh?” Kenny said with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“Let’s grab a drink and I’ll tell you on the porch before too many people arrive. I don’t want someone to overhear.”</p><p>Kenny grabbed a beer for himself and a mike’s hard lemonade for Tweek and they stepped outside.</p><p>Tweek told Kenny all about making the cupcakes after Kenny had left the day before. How Craig and Tweek hung out in his room a and Craig liked Tweek Town. Tweek got to the point where he found Craig in his room with a box of condoms and Kenny stopped him.</p><p>“You have got to be joking.”</p><p>“I wish I was.”</p><p>When Tweek’s story was finished Kenny was beaming with delight. “It sounds like he enjoys spending time with you at the very least. Did you notice him check you out at all?”</p><p>“Gah what?”</p><p>“When you were basically naked in front of him. Did his eyes do a once over?”</p><p>“Umm maybe? I mean I suppose. Isn’t that just how you look at someone?”</p><p>“Well, we don’t know if he’s gay, but he is showing very positive signs of liking you. He could just be Tweek-curious I suppose. If you knew if he had or hadn’t checked you out I’d have a stronger guess one way or another.”</p><p>“Hmmm,” was all Tweek could say. He was unsure where to go from there.</p><p>“I’ll do some digging.” Kenny offered.</p><p>Tweek’s eyes filled with fear. “What does that mean?”</p><p>“Don’t worry Tweek. You just keep acting like your adorable self. Maybe you should play a little hard to get. Don’t go looking for him when we go back inside. Let’s see if he finds you.”</p><p>Tweek looked unsure.</p><p>“Trust me. I’m good with people Tweek, and speaking of people let’s head back in. It’s time to mingle.”</p><p>They went back into the house and found the kitchen now had some new guests picking drinks out of the fridge and eating brownies.</p><p>“Hey Tweek, come over here!”</p><p>Tweek turned and saw Kyle waving to him. Tweek walked up to Kyle, who had been chatting with Butters and Heidi.</p><p>“Tweek, I heard you are interested in joining the tennis team!” Kyle stated as if it was a fact.</p><p>“Umm what?”</p><p>“Butters said you played with him today and had fun.” Kyle said looking towards Butters.</p><p>“You had fun right Tweek?” Butters said. He took a sip of his drink and continued “We need a few more people to join. Kyle convinced Heidi to join, and I figured it would be good to ask you.”</p><p>“I was terrible,” was all Tweek could think to say in response.</p><p>“That’s okay!” Kyle assured Tweek, “We can teach you.”</p><p>“Maybe.” Tweek replied trying to find the easiest way to say he would rather stab himself then join a tennis team.</p><p>Luckily Kyle didn’t have time to come up with another reason he should join the team because Clyde appeared next to them out of nowhere raving about the brownies.</p><p>“They are so good man. I wanted to eat like six, but I know it’s one per person. I need to make sure Bebe has one.”</p><p>“Are there any normal brownies?” Butters asked.</p><p>“No, but the cupcakes are normal.” Tweek replied.</p><p>“You mean the Craig ones?” Kyle asked.</p><p>“What?” Clyde, Heidi and Butters said together. They all turned to look at the blue cupcakes with a small dot of yellow frosting in the middle. They also saw Bebe next to the table and she was forcing Red to hold up her cupcake next to Craig for a picture. Craig didn’t look all too pleased that he was being forced to pose.</p><p>“That’s amazing,” Butters said.</p><p>“Why Craig?” Heidi asked confused.</p><p>“Tweek did say Craig mixed the colors for the icing.” Clyde said with a laugh as Bebe dragged Red and Craig down to the basement. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice that when I let you in.”</p><p>“I’m definitely going to have a Craig cupcake!” Butters declared, and then he made his way over to the table.</p><p>“I’m going to go find Bebe, I think she just went downstairs.” Clyde added before walking away.</p><p>“Great job on the cupcakes Tweek.” Heidi said. “They look amazing!”</p><p>“Oh thanks. I think I might go eat one. Or maybe I’ll have a brownie first.”</p><p>“You should!” Heidi said with a look in her eye that Tweek assumed meant he was supposed to give her and Kyle some alone time. Tweek figured this was fine and went over to the food table.</p><p>Butters was there talking with Scott, who was saying, “Thanks for splitting it with me. I should be fine with just half but eating the whole thing would mess up my blood sugar too much.”</p><p>“Of course, Scott!” Butters stated cheerily. “And here is the baker now.”</p><p>“Hi.” Tweek said as he picked up a brownie.</p><p>“The cupcake looks so good Tweek.” Scott observed as he finished cutting one of them in half.</p><p>“Thank you!” Tweek replied brightly just before taking his first bite of the brownie.</p><p>“Hey dude.” Craig said as he appeared next to Tweek.</p><p>Tweek gave a small wave hello as his mouth was full of brownie.</p><p>Craig grabbed a cupcake and they stepped away from the table. Craig looked around and led them through to the living room. Token, Nicole, Bradley, Kevin, Esther and Annie where in there chatting.</p><p>“Where have you been?” Token asked Craig when they appeared.</p><p>“Bebe and Red dragged me downstairs. Then Clyde showed up and it felt like it was some weird double-date situation. I said I had to go to the bathroom and just didn’t go back.”</p><p>Token laughed.</p><p>Tweek smiled to himself.</p><p>Kevin suggested they should start a round of flip cup. Token agreed but wanted to set up on the porch since he didn’t want to big of a mess to clean up inside.</p><p>Fifteen minutes later they were set up outside and it felt like more than half the party was squeezed onto the porch. Kenny ended up next to him and whispered, “I saw Craig downstairs with Red who appeared to be flirting with him, but then he disappeared.”</p><p>“Yeah, Craig said it felt like some awkward double date and he said he was going to head to the bathroom but didn’t go back. He found me at the food table right after...”</p><p>“Well well. Look at that. Good sign.”</p><p>“McCormick, Tweek, get over here.” Token shouted as Butters waved from beside him. We have to form teams, so I decided to resurrect the Dragons.</p><p>“Excellent idea!” Kenny shouted as they headed over to Token and Butters. “Don’t we need five though?”</p><p>“True,” Token conceded. “Who should we draft out of the crowd?”</p><p>“Hey fellas, how about Eric?” Butters suggested.</p><p>“How about no. I want us to beat Eric.” Kenny stated definitively. “Let’s get Kyle.” They called over Kyle who agreed to be an honorary member of the Dragons.</p><p>Kenny jumped up onto the table and yelled, “The Dragons are ready to light a fire up in here. Who shall dare to face us!”</p><p>“Slay the Dragon!” Stan shouted. His speech was already a little slurred.</p><p>“Who shall join Stan on his star-crossed mission?” Kenny asked.</p><p>Cartman appeared and yelled, “I’m going to take you down Kenny.”</p><p>After a few minutes Stan and Cartman dragged over Kevin and Clyde, who in turn was able to convince Craig to join only after Craig demanded he use water in his cup instead of beer.</p><p>“That’s fine as long as we fill it up extra since that’s easier to drink.” Kenny offered.</p><p>Craig nodded in agreement.</p><p>Once assembled Token yelled, “Everyone line up, I’ll start, and Kenny will finish for us.” The Dragon’s lined up with Token followed by Kyle, Butters, Tweek and Kenny. While their opponents lined up with Cartman followed by Stan, Kevin, Clyde and Craig.</p><p>“You are going down Tweek!” Clyde said to him as they faced each other.</p><p>“Oh Jesus.”</p><p>“That’s not very good trash talk Tweek.”</p><p>“Tweek is too sweet to trash talk with you Donovan.” Kenny interjected.</p><p>“GO!” Token shouted. And they were off. Token and Cartman both drank quickly and flipped their cups successfully on the first try. Kyle and Stan both had a little more trouble. Kyle drank slower and landed his cup in two tries while Stan finished drinking quickly but took three tries. This meant the teams were still neck and neck.</p><p>Kevin and Butters followed the lead of Cartman and Token by flipping their cup with only one attempt. Tweek was up now.</p><p>Tweek got the beer down and nervously attempted to flip the cup. He heard cheers from across the table and jumped and dropped his cup. Clyde had successfully done it in one try and now Craig, the final player was drinking. Tweek didn’t want to lose the game for his team and frantically tried to reset himself. Tweek retrieved his cup, but now Craig was done drinking.</p><p>Kenny, seeing he had to buy Tweek time turned to Craig. “When I had you in my mouth earlier your cream tasted delicious.”</p><p>Craig spluttered in surprise, lost concentration and flicked the cup way too hard resulting in it falling off the table. In the meantime, Tweek landed his cup and Kenny started drinking. Craig arrived back at the table, but Kenny flipped his cup successfully in one try and won the game for the Dragons.</p><p>“CHEATERS!!” Cartman bellowed. “Apparently, Kenny blew Craig earlier and that distracted him. Rematch!”</p><p>“It was the cupcake.” Craig said stonily. “The buttercream frosting.”</p><p>Bebe took this opportunity to shout, “I had Craig in my mouth too. It was so good!”</p><p>“Hey!” Clyde shouted looking from Craig to Bebe.</p><p>“I think we can all agree that the Dragons won and it’s a joy to have Craig inside us!” Kenny yelled.</p><p>The group cheered, Tweek’s hid his face in his hands and Craig was not amused.  </p><p>***</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time on Professor Tweek!</p><p>Chapter 10: The Party – Part II</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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